Realistic Standards lead to Satisfaction

Good Morning, BlogFam!

Each and every one of us has expectations in life.  However, I believe that people confuse having expectations with having standards.  An expectation is an anticipation of what we hope to receive from someone.  Standards are criteria that we use to determine whether or not something or someone is acceptable.  There is nothing worse than someone having an expectation of someone else and it is either unrealistic, or a secret.  You can’t expect something of someone that they don’t know they are supposed to be delivering.  It’s also not fair to expect something of someone that is unrealistic, because then you are intentionally setting them up for failure; which we would call premeditated resentment. 

I used to have these outrageous, superficial standards that no one man could ever live up to even if he re-programmed himself to try and meet them.  Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely still have standards but they have become slightly relaxed over the years.  I felt that if I prioritized my standards, then quite possibly, my standards would satisfy my priorities.  For example, I am a single mother, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to want a man who doesn’t have or want any children.  In my opinion, that’s a superficial standard that has very little potential to satisfy my priorities.  It doesn’t have to be a requirement for me to have a man who does have kids, but I definitely don’t feel that I should solely seek out the latter.  For someone like myself, who has three children, it would be beneficial to consider being with someone who has the experience and/or ability to connect with children.  

Thankfully, I have determined what my standards are, and I feel that they are reasonable.  Therefore, I am practicing patience and optimism because I am at a point in my life where I refuse to settle for less.  I used to compromise what I knew I wanted for what I thought would “work”, but that normally equated to wasted time, unnecessary aggravation, and self-inflicted anguish.  Luckily, those days are coming to an end. 

Quote of the Day: “One of the most valuable lessons you can learn, is that the beautification of the package is not a determination of the quality of the contents.” ~ Candice Loper