Happy New Years Eve Eve Blogfam!
So are you a repeat offender of the infamous New Years Resolutions? I have been in the past however I am going into this new year carrying on with the same thing I have started and established in 2010. There is no need for "new year" resolutions when you can make changes at any time of the year. We all have areas of improvement but I have never saw the benefit in placing all your flaws in a box and saving them for the last day of the year. The sooner you begin rectifying, the sooner you will see results.
I have to say that this has been one of the best years in a long time, so there is nothing that I would change going into the next year. I wouldn't be mad one bit if 2011 was the same as 2010, however I am pretty sure that it won't be because instead of resolutions I have GOALS!!! I feel that people put too much pressure on themselves and leave the possibility for contradiction and further procrastination when they make resolutions. How about instead of saying "I am going to stop smoking in 2011", more people should just say "A goal of mine is to stop smoking but I know it will take time, thankfully I am so glad that I started in 2010 so maybe sometime in 2011 I can be smoke free." However, some people don't have the ability to make realistic resolutions, so they just think of all the things they think they should change and try their best to do so but normally forget all about it within the first month of the year. Also, keep in mind that there are really too many letters in the word in the first place because if you omit some of those unnecessary letters, you will be left with RESULTS and at the end of the day that's all that matters!
Going into this new year I just want everyone to be safe, be sound, and be SECURE with who you are and your position in life.
Quote of the Day: "Love yourself and love your life so there won't be a need for resolutions, only results." ~ Candice Loper
Candy Girl
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
It's a Personal Thing
Good Morning Blogfam!
I know it's been a while and I just want you guys to know I haven't been intentionally neglecting you. Life happens all the time and there will always be times that require adequate prioritization.
There are many people who don't realize the effects that their mental stability (or instability) have on others. The way they treat others is normally based on their convenience, patience level, and ability to be respectful. I believe people who behave this way are the ones who don't have the ability or desire to look deep within themselves, realize their issues, and try their best to correct them. Consequently, what ultimately ends up happening is they find themselves constantly causing others pain without even realizing the severity of their actions. This is basically just another form of selfishness on so many levels; they are being selfish to themselves by not taking the time to get in touch with their issues and they are being selfish to others by causing them to feel the effects of their instability.
When you get to a point where you know exactly who you are and have the ability to embrace it, it becomes second nature to treat others as you would like to be treated. I don't think anyone will ever be free of issues because our attributes, as well as our flaws, make up a huge part of who we are. Therefore, if you find yourself being faced with someone who constantly hurts others to make themselves feel better, then you know that they are having a major internal conflict. I have realized that there is no one who can help a person relieve themselves of their own personal misery because it's something that they have to do on their own. The best therapy for people like this is to give them space to figure out who they are. I have found that when you stick around too long thinking you are being supportive; eventually you end up being the person requiring therapy.
Quote of the Day: "Don't drive yourself crazy just because someone else already ran out of gas on their long trip."~ Candice Loper
I know it's been a while and I just want you guys to know I haven't been intentionally neglecting you. Life happens all the time and there will always be times that require adequate prioritization.
There are many people who don't realize the effects that their mental stability (or instability) have on others. The way they treat others is normally based on their convenience, patience level, and ability to be respectful. I believe people who behave this way are the ones who don't have the ability or desire to look deep within themselves, realize their issues, and try their best to correct them. Consequently, what ultimately ends up happening is they find themselves constantly causing others pain without even realizing the severity of their actions. This is basically just another form of selfishness on so many levels; they are being selfish to themselves by not taking the time to get in touch with their issues and they are being selfish to others by causing them to feel the effects of their instability.
When you get to a point where you know exactly who you are and have the ability to embrace it, it becomes second nature to treat others as you would like to be treated. I don't think anyone will ever be free of issues because our attributes, as well as our flaws, make up a huge part of who we are. Therefore, if you find yourself being faced with someone who constantly hurts others to make themselves feel better, then you know that they are having a major internal conflict. I have realized that there is no one who can help a person relieve themselves of their own personal misery because it's something that they have to do on their own. The best therapy for people like this is to give them space to figure out who they are. I have found that when you stick around too long thinking you are being supportive; eventually you end up being the person requiring therapy.
Quote of the Day: "Don't drive yourself crazy just because someone else already ran out of gas on their long trip."~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Respect Rules!
Good Morning Blogfam!
I am having a difficult time understanding why people have such a hard time showing support and respect to others. Respect is a reciprocal action so you have to give it in order to receive it. It seems like people really underestimate the power of respect so that prevents them from understanding the significance in showing it. Respect means esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability. Therefore, even in the case of self the fact still remains that respect is a reciprocal action that has to be given to be received. If you want others to recognize your personal qualities or abilities, you must have to ability recognize theirs because you'll only get back what you put out.
So many things in life call for showing a certain level of respect and regard. When you're constantly late for appointments, you aren't showing respect for the next persons time. When you find yourself judging others for being different from you, you aren't showing respect for that persons individuality. The list goes on an on but if there were more people in the world who showed regard for others, this world would definitely be a better place. Instead of there always being a battle of personalities and differences of livelihoods, there would be a phenomenon of peace and love. Some things are easier said then done, but I don't see how giving respect can be a hard thing to do.
My motivation behind this blog entry is because I am so sick and tired of seeing people tear each other down with the hopes of bringing themselves up. I don't see how putting someone else down can make anyone feel good about anything. On a personal level, I am pleased about where i'm at in life because I too have been there before where I only found myself solely focusing on the negative aspects of someone else. However, once I got to the root of my own issues I realized that I wasn't even happy with myself so how could I possibly have the ability to show respect and be happy for the next person. So as you can see, disrespect and negativity comes from a place of deeply embedded misery.
Quote of the Day: "We all have areas of improvement just as we all have areas where we excel. Focusing on the negative aspects of another person will never increase your personal qualities." ~ Candice Loper
I am having a difficult time understanding why people have such a hard time showing support and respect to others. Respect is a reciprocal action so you have to give it in order to receive it. It seems like people really underestimate the power of respect so that prevents them from understanding the significance in showing it. Respect means esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability. Therefore, even in the case of self the fact still remains that respect is a reciprocal action that has to be given to be received. If you want others to recognize your personal qualities or abilities, you must have to ability recognize theirs because you'll only get back what you put out.
So many things in life call for showing a certain level of respect and regard. When you're constantly late for appointments, you aren't showing respect for the next persons time. When you find yourself judging others for being different from you, you aren't showing respect for that persons individuality. The list goes on an on but if there were more people in the world who showed regard for others, this world would definitely be a better place. Instead of there always being a battle of personalities and differences of livelihoods, there would be a phenomenon of peace and love. Some things are easier said then done, but I don't see how giving respect can be a hard thing to do.
My motivation behind this blog entry is because I am so sick and tired of seeing people tear each other down with the hopes of bringing themselves up. I don't see how putting someone else down can make anyone feel good about anything. On a personal level, I am pleased about where i'm at in life because I too have been there before where I only found myself solely focusing on the negative aspects of someone else. However, once I got to the root of my own issues I realized that I wasn't even happy with myself so how could I possibly have the ability to show respect and be happy for the next person. So as you can see, disrespect and negativity comes from a place of deeply embedded misery.
Quote of the Day: "We all have areas of improvement just as we all have areas where we excel. Focusing on the negative aspects of another person will never increase your personal qualities." ~ Candice Loper
Friday, December 10, 2010
Relationships Can Produce Happiness...If You Want It
Hey Hey Blogfam!!
I was having a conversation last night about why people stay in relationships with people that they know aren't the ones for them. I had to ponder on that for a second before responding because I have been in that position myself too many times. I came to the conclusion that we stay in relationships with unlikely people for a variety of reasons, that may not hold the most validity.
Firstly, I believe that conditional relationships tend to possess longevity because it's human nature to get used to certain things and not be able to let go of them. I am sure we have all had moments of being with someone for a specific reason that may be advantageous to us. However, what ends up happening is you get the opportunity to take advantage of your benefits but in the process you are not completely fulfilled. Then before you know it, you have wasted potentially valuable time when you knew initially that you didn't see a fulfilling future with that person.
Secondly, I believe that single people of certain demographic get impatient being alone so they settle for the first person that comes their way that even seems remotely interested in them. I notice this most often in women who are 35 and up. That tends to be the age when women perceive being alone as being lonely. There is a major difference between the two. When you are alone it just means that you are by yourself and that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. However, when you perceive yourself as being lonely you feel like your aloneness is a form of emptiness, which is the reason for filling the void with just about anything. Personally, I use my alone time as a time of reflection and self-actualization. Being alone is not such a bad thing, especially when you end up being with anyone just for the sake of being with someone and you still end up feeling a major sense of emptiness.
Lastly, I believe that people initially compromise the things they KNOW they want for things they THINK they can settle for. This is a major mistake that leads to the end of many relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want within reason and going after it. However, if you're willing to compromise your potential for complete happiness just for the sake of being with someone, that is when you end up stuck in a situation that is not pleasing to you. I've said before that the most important person that you have to be honest with is YOU. No one else is responsible for telling you what it would take for you to be happy but you are responsible for knowing what you desire that will ultimately equate to happiness.
Quote of the Day: "The first sight of trouble normally happens at first sight. So don't ignore your intuitions unless you're willing to ignore your happiness." ~ Candice Loper
I was having a conversation last night about why people stay in relationships with people that they know aren't the ones for them. I had to ponder on that for a second before responding because I have been in that position myself too many times. I came to the conclusion that we stay in relationships with unlikely people for a variety of reasons, that may not hold the most validity.
Firstly, I believe that conditional relationships tend to possess longevity because it's human nature to get used to certain things and not be able to let go of them. I am sure we have all had moments of being with someone for a specific reason that may be advantageous to us. However, what ends up happening is you get the opportunity to take advantage of your benefits but in the process you are not completely fulfilled. Then before you know it, you have wasted potentially valuable time when you knew initially that you didn't see a fulfilling future with that person.
Secondly, I believe that single people of certain demographic get impatient being alone so they settle for the first person that comes their way that even seems remotely interested in them. I notice this most often in women who are 35 and up. That tends to be the age when women perceive being alone as being lonely. There is a major difference between the two. When you are alone it just means that you are by yourself and that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. However, when you perceive yourself as being lonely you feel like your aloneness is a form of emptiness, which is the reason for filling the void with just about anything. Personally, I use my alone time as a time of reflection and self-actualization. Being alone is not such a bad thing, especially when you end up being with anyone just for the sake of being with someone and you still end up feeling a major sense of emptiness.
Lastly, I believe that people initially compromise the things they KNOW they want for things they THINK they can settle for. This is a major mistake that leads to the end of many relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want within reason and going after it. However, if you're willing to compromise your potential for complete happiness just for the sake of being with someone, that is when you end up stuck in a situation that is not pleasing to you. I've said before that the most important person that you have to be honest with is YOU. No one else is responsible for telling you what it would take for you to be happy but you are responsible for knowing what you desire that will ultimately equate to happiness.
Quote of the Day: "The first sight of trouble normally happens at first sight. So don't ignore your intuitions unless you're willing to ignore your happiness." ~ Candice Loper
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Be Aware of YOU!
Good Afternoon Blogfam!
The joy of being an individual is that you have the ability to live your life the way you want to. There are many times when people feel obligated to live their life a certain way due to pressure from others. However, one thing I have realized is that people normally try to direct others paths when they feel like they aren't wise enough to do it on their own. I believe that when a person lets their strength and wisdom shine through, others observe that and feel confident that they have the ability to make decisions for themselves. Therefore, if others are constantly advising you of how to live your life maybe it's time to realize some things about yourself. Perhaps you really do know who you are but you just aren't the best at making others feel your passion.
It's important to be secure in who you are so you can be confident with the decisions that you make. I have always come off as a strong woman even at times when I didn't feel like I was strong. However, others have always felt my strength because I am and always have been SECURE with who I am. That is not to say that I have always known what I want to do, but I have always known who I am beneath the surface. For example, I aspire to be a motivational speaker because I know I have the ability to make a difference in the lives of others that may have went through some of the things I have went through. Therefore, that is the reason why there is no one that has the power to persuade me to change my mind about what I want to do or who I want to be. For those of you who aren't quite sure who you want to be or what your passions are, I would encourage you to figure it out on your own. Don't let anyone else decide who you should be because then you ultimately end up being a figment of someone else's imagination. The only reason one would want to walk in someone elses' shadow is if they are walking down the path you already know you want to walk down. However, it is extremely important to have the ability to realize the path of the person advising because quite possibly, they may be trying to live out their failed dreams through you.
Quote of the Day: "It's not up to anyone else to determine your destiny. Maintain control of yourself and your life." ~ Candice Loper
The joy of being an individual is that you have the ability to live your life the way you want to. There are many times when people feel obligated to live their life a certain way due to pressure from others. However, one thing I have realized is that people normally try to direct others paths when they feel like they aren't wise enough to do it on their own. I believe that when a person lets their strength and wisdom shine through, others observe that and feel confident that they have the ability to make decisions for themselves. Therefore, if others are constantly advising you of how to live your life maybe it's time to realize some things about yourself. Perhaps you really do know who you are but you just aren't the best at making others feel your passion.
It's important to be secure in who you are so you can be confident with the decisions that you make. I have always come off as a strong woman even at times when I didn't feel like I was strong. However, others have always felt my strength because I am and always have been SECURE with who I am. That is not to say that I have always known what I want to do, but I have always known who I am beneath the surface. For example, I aspire to be a motivational speaker because I know I have the ability to make a difference in the lives of others that may have went through some of the things I have went through. Therefore, that is the reason why there is no one that has the power to persuade me to change my mind about what I want to do or who I want to be. For those of you who aren't quite sure who you want to be or what your passions are, I would encourage you to figure it out on your own. Don't let anyone else decide who you should be because then you ultimately end up being a figment of someone else's imagination. The only reason one would want to walk in someone elses' shadow is if they are walking down the path you already know you want to walk down. However, it is extremely important to have the ability to realize the path of the person advising because quite possibly, they may be trying to live out their failed dreams through you.
Quote of the Day: "It's not up to anyone else to determine your destiny. Maintain control of yourself and your life." ~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
It's Okay to Put Yourself Second
Good Morning Blogfam!
I know it's been a while since I have shared my thoughts with you but sometimes I have to take time to collect them. Today I want to talk about selfishness and the people who display that type of behavior. There are times when we will have selfish ways and possibly not even realize it. I bet you're asking how can someone be selfish and not know it? Well it is possible and I will tell you how.
Being selfish means that you are only concerned with yourself and advantage to the exclusion of others. There is a thin line between selfishness and putting oneself first. We are all supposed to keep our best interest in mind, however if your best interest means hurting someone else then you're being inconsiderate and selfish. I have struggled with this myself because it's human nature to want what you want and do what you have to do to get it. When it comes to relationships, I have experienced a considerable amount of inconsideration for my feelings and I too have also inflicted it upon others. Some people want to deal with others on a conditional basis but are not cognizant of the other persons interest level. Therefore, what ultimately ends up happening is you have one person who is extremely interested unconditionally and one person who is only interested in certain facets of the person. It''s understandable that most people are looking for the "total package" but taking different pieces of several people and trying to make it one is not the answer. The potential to hurt too many people is there and that is what makes a person selfish.
To prevent inflicting selfishness unto others it takes a certain amount of self-sacrifice because in order to make someone else happy, sometimes you have to put yourself second. That is if you care about a person enough, however those that don't truly care about the next person wouldn't be willing to do this. It could be a pride or ego thing that keeps people from putting the next person first, but those are the two things that tend to stand in the way of pure happiness. Why? Because when you don't have the ability to put your pride to the side, your main concern is not feeling like a fool.
Quote of the Day: "Don't let others be emotionally punished for your inconsiderate choices." ~ Candice Loper
I know it's been a while since I have shared my thoughts with you but sometimes I have to take time to collect them. Today I want to talk about selfishness and the people who display that type of behavior. There are times when we will have selfish ways and possibly not even realize it. I bet you're asking how can someone be selfish and not know it? Well it is possible and I will tell you how.
Being selfish means that you are only concerned with yourself and advantage to the exclusion of others. There is a thin line between selfishness and putting oneself first. We are all supposed to keep our best interest in mind, however if your best interest means hurting someone else then you're being inconsiderate and selfish. I have struggled with this myself because it's human nature to want what you want and do what you have to do to get it. When it comes to relationships, I have experienced a considerable amount of inconsideration for my feelings and I too have also inflicted it upon others. Some people want to deal with others on a conditional basis but are not cognizant of the other persons interest level. Therefore, what ultimately ends up happening is you have one person who is extremely interested unconditionally and one person who is only interested in certain facets of the person. It''s understandable that most people are looking for the "total package" but taking different pieces of several people and trying to make it one is not the answer. The potential to hurt too many people is there and that is what makes a person selfish.
To prevent inflicting selfishness unto others it takes a certain amount of self-sacrifice because in order to make someone else happy, sometimes you have to put yourself second. That is if you care about a person enough, however those that don't truly care about the next person wouldn't be willing to do this. It could be a pride or ego thing that keeps people from putting the next person first, but those are the two things that tend to stand in the way of pure happiness. Why? Because when you don't have the ability to put your pride to the side, your main concern is not feeling like a fool.
Quote of the Day: "Don't let others be emotionally punished for your inconsiderate choices." ~ Candice Loper
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Peace is POWER!
Good Afternoon Blogfam!
It is such an amazing feeling when you get to a place of peace and maturity. It makes you feel like you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders while running a marathon. We have all had moments of unhappiness but there comes a time when you have to overcome that and move forward. Misery has the potential to serve as a roadblock on your way to peacefulness. Typically when people are miserable they don't have to ability to seek and find peace because they are so unhappy with themselves that they don't even know how to find anything about their life that is pleasing to them.
I have a very hard time talking to and understanding people who have nothing to do in life but complain. Life is not supposed to be perfect but it is supposed to be peaceful. I think that some people feel that peace is derived from having everything in life figured out. However, peace comes from knowing that you're working towards figuring things out. Peace is all about knowing that you are at or on your way to a better place. I realized that I had reached a certain level of peace when I was able to forgive myself and others for things I had experienced in the past. Unfortunately, everyone does not have the ability to do that. As weird as it sounds, some people embrace misery because they have never experienced happiness. When being unhappy with life is all someone has ever known there is really no way for them to know or realize that there is another side that is so pure that it will make their head spin! I have known people like this, and lets just say it was not the most enjoyable experience dealing with them. I want to enjoy a relationship with someone, I don't want to feel like I am tolerating them so when I feel like that's what i'm doing, I get as far away as possible.
The only thing I will tell people who are currently experiencing unhappiness is try not to transfer your negative energy onto others who are trying to retain peace in their lives. When people are unhappy it tends to give them ammunition to be nasty to others because they find joy in knowing that someone else is feeling just as worse as they are.
Quote of the Day: "Peace is pure and powerful. It gives you a sense of serenity that you may have never experienced before." ~ Candice Loper
It is such an amazing feeling when you get to a place of peace and maturity. It makes you feel like you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders while running a marathon. We have all had moments of unhappiness but there comes a time when you have to overcome that and move forward. Misery has the potential to serve as a roadblock on your way to peacefulness. Typically when people are miserable they don't have to ability to seek and find peace because they are so unhappy with themselves that they don't even know how to find anything about their life that is pleasing to them.
I have a very hard time talking to and understanding people who have nothing to do in life but complain. Life is not supposed to be perfect but it is supposed to be peaceful. I think that some people feel that peace is derived from having everything in life figured out. However, peace comes from knowing that you're working towards figuring things out. Peace is all about knowing that you are at or on your way to a better place. I realized that I had reached a certain level of peace when I was able to forgive myself and others for things I had experienced in the past. Unfortunately, everyone does not have the ability to do that. As weird as it sounds, some people embrace misery because they have never experienced happiness. When being unhappy with life is all someone has ever known there is really no way for them to know or realize that there is another side that is so pure that it will make their head spin! I have known people like this, and lets just say it was not the most enjoyable experience dealing with them. I want to enjoy a relationship with someone, I don't want to feel like I am tolerating them so when I feel like that's what i'm doing, I get as far away as possible.
The only thing I will tell people who are currently experiencing unhappiness is try not to transfer your negative energy onto others who are trying to retain peace in their lives. When people are unhappy it tends to give them ammunition to be nasty to others because they find joy in knowing that someone else is feeling just as worse as they are.
Quote of the Day: "Peace is pure and powerful. It gives you a sense of serenity that you may have never experienced before." ~ Candice Loper
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