I know it seems so weird seeing me actually post on my blog. I was saddened to see that I had not shared my in depth thoughts in nearly two years! Well during that time I have learned, loved, been hurt, hurt others, lost focus, found focus, prospered, lost sight of my purpose, found my purpose and just did what a lot of us do....I've LIVED!
I was sitting here reminiscing about those days when I used to write daily. It was peaceful, it was insightful and it was relaxing. Why oh why did I ever stop? I was wondering why I was finding it more difficult to find my happy place during times of despair, why I felt so compelled to cry when I thought I had no more tears, why I felt so insecure when I thought I was so confident and why I felt so unsure when I thought I was so certain. In many ways it could have been a blessing in disguise for me to take a break from my peace "crutch" because if I didn't maybe I wouldn't have learned how to deal with some of the situations I have experienced. Sometimes we have to revisit and even at times change our perspective regarding things in order to deal with them on a case by case basis. Otherwise, you'll find yourself being biased before you even get a chance to deal with what you're faced with.
It seems as though every time I feel like I have things figured out there is always something that happens to let me know that it's so much more to this life of mines than what I thought it could ever be. Almost like God is saying "Oh you thought it was going to be that easy, huh? Well guess what?? NOT THIS TIME!" I used to ask that question that no one ever really has a straight answer to. Why?
However, why doesn't matter because normally why is only asked when what has happened has already happened. I've learned to look forward to when because when is an indication of the anticipation for what's to come. I'm trying to learn how to appreciate my blessings of today because I realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed and I would hate to spend what could potentially be my last day on this Earth being hurt, angry or confused. It's time to start restoring my faith in optimism because what's going to be is going to be.
CandyNote: Optimism is necessary to control your emotions regarding the events of today.
