Life is a Journey!

Good Morning Blogfam!

For those who are blessed, life will be the longest experience in your entire life and for those who are even more blessed; it will be a long and FULFILLING experience.  In order to fully appreciate your path you have to live beyond the moments and situations and appreciate what lies ahead in the future.  There are many people who question themselves, God, and others when things don’t happen in the time frame they had hoped for.  See that’s when selfishness and impatience takes over the steering wheel in the car of destiny.  Just because things don’t happen when you want them to doesn’t mean it’s not in the plan for it to happen, it’s just going to happen when God feels like you’re ready to receive it and appreciate it.  Many experiences that we encounter in life are blessings in disguise, therefore if you’re not able to see beyond the disguise and recognize how blessed you are to be walking in your skin; it means you’re not quite ready for it yet.  Therefore, if you constantly find yourself not getting what you want out of life, you may very well need to change your perspective and start appreciating what you do have so you can make room for what you don’t have or aren’t receiving.  You have to be ready and able to handle the abundance!! I f you can’t fully appreciate the small things that you may not see as a blessing, how in the world are you going to be able to handle the big things?   

This is why it’s very important for everyone to realize that life is a JOURNEY, it is not a trip!  I will say that again…life is a JOURNEY, it is not a trip!  When you’re on a journey there is no end in sight, as far as you’re concerned you could continue on until your time has run out.  Journeys are exciting, fulfilling, educational, experimental, and even emotional.  When you recognize that your life is a journey that’s when you’re able to appreciate your hardships, shortcomings, areas of opportunity, and improve them to enhance your experience at the next destination.  Please note that I used the term DESTINATION!  Along your very long journey, you will go from destination to destination never to return home for good but just to make a pit stop until it’s time to go to the next destination.  Now don’t get me wrong, your journey will not simply consist of tropical getaways and treks through the rainforest…part of your journey includes most of the things that you do right at home…it’s all about what you take from every experience you are faced with.  There will be times when the person that you are today may not be who you want to be or are supposed to be, therefore, that journey from oneself today to oneself in the future is just one example of a foreseeable destination within your journey.  The destination to SELF!!  For those with a different perspective and look at life as a trip, they will always be looking and waiting for the end of every situation or experience they encounter.  They won’t have the ability to practice patience and foresee the long term benefit of what they are experiencing in their present, whether it is good or bad.  If you take notice, trips tend to be short getaways that help you to escape reality but one thing for sure….you will always have to come right back and face everything you’re temporarily getting away from.  Once you have the ability to incorporate your present reality into your dreams, imagination, passions, and desires that is a direct sign that your perspective is changing and you’re finally starting to leave the small trips to the escapees and you’re ready to join “Team Journey” because they don’t run from it…they run WITH it!   Why is it that I say you’re ready now?  Because now you are able to appreciate the fact that the end is not near and if you’re lucky you won’t ever see an end…you will just see constant new beginnings.    

Quote of the Day: "If you're always looking forward to the end, you don't deserve any new beginnings!" ~ Candice Loper

Make Them Sweat!

Good Morning Blogfam!


Have you ever been faced with trying to get someone back or someone trying to get you back?  Well I definitely have and let me tell you, it took me a long time to realize what it takes for a person to succeed in those efforts.  There are people who aren't necessarily good at making a person "sweat", which in turn makes them give in easily with very little repercussions or restrictions.  However, when someone does something to hurt you, the future of your relationship (if any) relies on them feeling a major sense of regret.  Therefore, if you accept them back without them experiencing that feeling, chances are the same issues will arise again.


Some people, typically women, simply don't have the ability to be patient and allow time to pass for the person to realize the affect of their actions.  It's important to realize that if a person genuinely cares for you and loves you, they will respect your emotions and allow you time to get past it or not.  If being with you is what they really want, they will go the extra mile to make sure you know that.  However, I think it's especially important to not take advantage of a person due to their regrets.  Go ahead and make them "sweat" just so they can understand that it's not so easy to just mess up and get right back in where you used to fit in.  But you have to know when it's time to call a truce, forgive them, lay your expectations on the line, and let them know what the ramifications will be if they're not met.


The last piece to this is knowing when to be honest when you know you don't want anything to do with a person.  I believe this is where greed, selfishness, and taking advantage of another person comes in to play.  If someone hurts you, tries their hardest to win you back, and you don't tell them that you're no longer interested; now you're taking advantage of them.  I know the gifts can be tempting and it can be flattering to your ego to have someone basically begging and pleading to have you back but in the end it's best for both people if you can just address it and move forward with your life.  At the end of the day, the material things aren't worth your self-respect and dignity.  If someone hurts you to the point of you not wanting to deal with them anymore, then why would they be worth dealing with on any level just for a few gifts?  That's when you have to put things into perspective.


Quote of the Day: "In order for someone to empathize with you, you have to make sure they feel the same pain you feel." ~ Candice Loper

Patience is Your Greatest Ally

Good Morning Blogfam!


I used to be the type of person to look for instant gratification but that's not always possible.  So when I allowed time to pass I was able to see that bad situations eventually become good situations, especially when you strive to make them that way.  I have been that person before that felt like every day was the end of the world just because my situation wasn't what I wanted it to be, at that time!  So that's when I thought to myself: Candice, you are being selfish and impatient.  It was unfair of me to expect everything to happen and turn around when I wanted it to because at the end of the day God has a plan for me.


There was a time when I felt like I knew exactly who I was and for the most part, I liked that person.  She was fun, fearless, beautiful, outgoing, and driven (amongst other things).  Then I went through a major life change that affected my spirit beneath the surface, and at times on the surface.  I had many moments of feeling like I was less of a person, like I had lost myself completely to never find her again, and that there was no light at the end of the tunnel.  Over the past 3 years I've had to endure many struggles mentally, physically, and emotionally.  You have those days where you feel like you don't want to get out of the bed because you just don't have it in you to fight the battle of life.  You have those days where you feel like you look like a piece of crap and there is nothing you can do to beautify yourself.  You have those days where you break down and burst into tears for no apparent reason.  My point is, you will have those days but each day that you have that day it just serves as proof that you're blessed because you've been given another day to go through it and get through it. 


So now I have finally gotten to the point of feeling like I am the person I used to be, just a new and improved version.  The benefit of going through personal struggles is when you get to the point of overcoming them, it will be a priority in your life to make sure you do what you have to do to not go through it again.  You are one of your most valuable possessions, so when you lose it and find it, you will make sure you hold on to it really tightly.  Just as you have expectations of others, you should also have expectations of yourself because if you can put the burden and pressure on someone else to not let you down, you should put that same burden and pressure on yourself for yourself.


Quote of the Day: "Patience is the greatest catapult for satisfied expectations" ~ Candice Loper

Don't let your reasons become excuses

Good Morning Blogfam!!


How many times have you heard the same person use the same excuse time and time again?  Well i'm raising my hand because I certainly have.  Not only have I heard it from others, i've also done it myself.  Excuses are a collection of words that people use to try and validate why they do or don't do certain things.  However, many don't realize that there is a limit to how many times you can use the same excuse for the same inconsistency.


How about when people make excuses for you that you don't even make for yourself? (LOL)  I'm sure we've all had moments of having someone over your house and you have to give them the famous disclosure when they enter: "Please excuse the mess".  For some reason because I have kids people tend to say Oh it's okay you have three kids.  So I thought to myself if having kids is a reason to not have a clean home at all times?  Or is it an excuse?  It could very well be a reason but if it continues to happen, that's when it transforms into an excuse.  I will have kids in my home for at least the next 14 years so instead of using that as an excuse, I could just develop a plan that works for me and my family to keep my house clean at all times.  It's really not rocket science.


Whenever someone gives me an excuse about why they behave certain ways I always ask the question: So what are you doing to work on or change that?  When you can take the time to make an excuse for something than that means you recognize that something is wrong, which in turn means you should know what you need to do to correct it.  When you have integrity you will take time to constantly improve yourself, you won't allow something so weak as excuses to be your scapegoat.


Quote of the Day: "Use your reasons as a catapult for improvement so you don't have to subject everyone to your excuses." ~ Candice Loper