Good Morning Blogfam!
I was thinking about some things this morning and something crossed my mind. I was thinking about standards and how people determine or prioritize what is important to them when it comes to searching for a potential mate. I have known people who looked for certain attributes and qualities in other people that they didn't even possess themselves. I won't even pretend that one of those people hasn't been me at one point or another. The difference is, I recognized it and now my perspective is different.
When you get to a point where you know what you want; whether it be from yourself or someone else, it makes it more difficult to settle for less. I believe that some people get so caught up in what they desire from another person that they stop focusing on what will be desired of themselves. It's like wanting someone who has good credit, a nice home, no children, and a lucrative income. However, when you look at your situation your credit sucks, you live in an apartment, you have four kids, and you work part time. Now what kind of sense does that make? It's almost like having champagne taste with tap water money. Don't get me wrong; i'm not saying that you can't want someone who is in a better position than you, i'm just saying it shouldn't be a "deal breaker" if you find someone who is on the same level as you.
If you know your standards are greater than what you have to offer, than it wouldn't hurt to work hard to bring yourself up to YOUR own standards.
Quote of the Day: "Don't expect something of someone that you're not willing to give to yourself." ~ Candice Loper
Candy Girl
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Don't Rush Life
Good Morning Blogfam!
There are many young people who are ahead of their time. Sometimes it is forced upon them by parents or society and sometimes it's just a personal choice. Typically when a child is exposed to certain situations that only an adult can truly handle, it causes them to force themselves to handle it. Granted, this scenario isn't all bad because they are gaining valuable insight on how to adapt and survive, but is it really valuable when they're really not ready to deal with it?
I was a young lady who was way ahead of my time. I mean there was nothing that anyone could tell me, I knew it all! When I entered high school at the age of 14, I was already grown so sports, sleepovers with friends, hanging out after school; all of those things were childish to me. I preferred to have a boyfriend (who eventually came to live with me), work two jobs at 16, get pregnant at 17, go to prom pregnant, and be a mother at the age of 18. Oh yeah, that was much more fun than hanging out with friends and going to college. Of course while I was living it I didn't see it that way. Then by the time I was 19, my relationship ended (SHOCKER!!!), i'm a single mother, going to school, working a full-time job, and maintaining my own household. Now it's time for me to party like a rockstar, right? But there is just one problem. I already missed that part of my life when I thought being an adult was more appealing than being a teenager. At that point there were no other options. I wanted it so I got it, there was no turning back.
Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no do-overs in life. There are certain decisions you can make that will affect the path of the rest of your life. When you decide that you want to be an adult when you're supposed to be an adolescent, you have to understand that when the real time comes for you to be an adult, you will never be an adolescent again. It's something to think about because I never did when I was young.
Quote of the Day: "Growing up too fast is just another way of rushing your way through life. We'll be adults way longer than we'll be children; enjoy your youth!" ~ Candice Loper
There are many young people who are ahead of their time. Sometimes it is forced upon them by parents or society and sometimes it's just a personal choice. Typically when a child is exposed to certain situations that only an adult can truly handle, it causes them to force themselves to handle it. Granted, this scenario isn't all bad because they are gaining valuable insight on how to adapt and survive, but is it really valuable when they're really not ready to deal with it?
I was a young lady who was way ahead of my time. I mean there was nothing that anyone could tell me, I knew it all! When I entered high school at the age of 14, I was already grown so sports, sleepovers with friends, hanging out after school; all of those things were childish to me. I preferred to have a boyfriend (who eventually came to live with me), work two jobs at 16, get pregnant at 17, go to prom pregnant, and be a mother at the age of 18. Oh yeah, that was much more fun than hanging out with friends and going to college. Of course while I was living it I didn't see it that way. Then by the time I was 19, my relationship ended (SHOCKER!!!), i'm a single mother, going to school, working a full-time job, and maintaining my own household. Now it's time for me to party like a rockstar, right? But there is just one problem. I already missed that part of my life when I thought being an adult was more appealing than being a teenager. At that point there were no other options. I wanted it so I got it, there was no turning back.
Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no do-overs in life. There are certain decisions you can make that will affect the path of the rest of your life. When you decide that you want to be an adult when you're supposed to be an adolescent, you have to understand that when the real time comes for you to be an adult, you will never be an adolescent again. It's something to think about because I never did when I was young.
Quote of the Day: "Growing up too fast is just another way of rushing your way through life. We'll be adults way longer than we'll be children; enjoy your youth!" ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Balance is Key
Good Morning Blogfam!
I believe that in order to be truly happy you have to have a proper balance in certain areas of your life. I've noticed that the people who spend too much time doing a particular activity or devote too much time to certain people, are normally the ones who seem unhappy beneath the surface. Sometimes while a person is spending too much time doing one thing, they aren't doing another thing that may be of interest to them; this is where balance comes into the equation.
I am sure many of us have been in relationships where we just wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with our partner. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this but I have known many people (including myself) who eventually got to a point of making my man my priority and completely forgetting about the things that once made me happy outside of him. So it took me a while to realize that when you get a person accustomed to a certain type of behavior, that is what they will expect from you going forward. So if you spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with a person, when the time comes for you to separate from them they won't really be able to understand it. Consequently, depending on the person you are with your relationship may even experience trust issues. Eventually, you realize that you have let all your friends go, your dreams are slipping, and before you know it your self-identity has left right along with everything else.
This is why it is especially important to maintain a proper balance between togetherness and separateness. While in a relationship, it's healthy to have common goals, dreams, and visions. However, it's equally important to evolve individually because personal growth is an essential part of life. If for so long your primary goal has always been growing together, would you know what to do if you ever grew apart?
Quote of the Day: "The scales of life start out empty so it's up to you to place the weights in the proper dishes to create the proper balance." ~ Candice Loper
I believe that in order to be truly happy you have to have a proper balance in certain areas of your life. I've noticed that the people who spend too much time doing a particular activity or devote too much time to certain people, are normally the ones who seem unhappy beneath the surface. Sometimes while a person is spending too much time doing one thing, they aren't doing another thing that may be of interest to them; this is where balance comes into the equation.
I am sure many of us have been in relationships where we just wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with our partner. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this but I have known many people (including myself) who eventually got to a point of making my man my priority and completely forgetting about the things that once made me happy outside of him. So it took me a while to realize that when you get a person accustomed to a certain type of behavior, that is what they will expect from you going forward. So if you spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with a person, when the time comes for you to separate from them they won't really be able to understand it. Consequently, depending on the person you are with your relationship may even experience trust issues. Eventually, you realize that you have let all your friends go, your dreams are slipping, and before you know it your self-identity has left right along with everything else.
This is why it is especially important to maintain a proper balance between togetherness and separateness. While in a relationship, it's healthy to have common goals, dreams, and visions. However, it's equally important to evolve individually because personal growth is an essential part of life. If for so long your primary goal has always been growing together, would you know what to do if you ever grew apart?
Quote of the Day: "The scales of life start out empty so it's up to you to place the weights in the proper dishes to create the proper balance." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, May 16, 2011
Time is Precious
Good Morning Blogfam!
Time is our most precious asset because there are endless possibilities with what you can do with it. Which is why you should maximize it and make the best of each moment. It's especially important to associate yourself with people who share the same respect for time as you do. I feel that time and money are one in the same. Money comes and money goes just as time comes and time goes. The only difference is you can't get time back once it's lost or wasted.
I have definitely wasted my share of time which I can never get back. But I feel like I recovered a little bit of it through the lessons I have learned from that "wasted" time. The biggest lesson I learned through everything is not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. In the past there have been times when someone showed me who they were very early on in the relationship but I held on to the thought of who I wanted them to be, which in turn caused me to stay in a situation that I knew wouldn't be beneficial in the long run. As a result, I pay extra close attention to behavior that is displayed in the beginning because it's a direct indication of what's to be expected in the future.
When you've experienced enough turmoil due to situations that could have been avoided, it gives you a newfound respect for time and what you choose to do with it. You begin to cherish the positive and despise the negative things in life. Granted, perfection does not exist so every moment in life won't be a joyous one. But sometimes we go through situations that we can control but mentally we feel powerless so before we realize that it's bad typically a lot of time has passed.
Quote of the Day: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." ~ Maya Angelou
Time is our most precious asset because there are endless possibilities with what you can do with it. Which is why you should maximize it and make the best of each moment. It's especially important to associate yourself with people who share the same respect for time as you do. I feel that time and money are one in the same. Money comes and money goes just as time comes and time goes. The only difference is you can't get time back once it's lost or wasted.
I have definitely wasted my share of time which I can never get back. But I feel like I recovered a little bit of it through the lessons I have learned from that "wasted" time. The biggest lesson I learned through everything is not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. In the past there have been times when someone showed me who they were very early on in the relationship but I held on to the thought of who I wanted them to be, which in turn caused me to stay in a situation that I knew wouldn't be beneficial in the long run. As a result, I pay extra close attention to behavior that is displayed in the beginning because it's a direct indication of what's to be expected in the future.
When you've experienced enough turmoil due to situations that could have been avoided, it gives you a newfound respect for time and what you choose to do with it. You begin to cherish the positive and despise the negative things in life. Granted, perfection does not exist so every moment in life won't be a joyous one. But sometimes we go through situations that we can control but mentally we feel powerless so before we realize that it's bad typically a lot of time has passed.
Quote of the Day: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." ~ Maya Angelou
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Love or Pride? Your Choice....
Good Morning Blogfam!
Have you ever wondered why relationships that go bad can't be made whole again? I think about this often because I have been in several relationships that have went bad and I couldn't seem to understand why it couldn't be restored. I feel that these type of questions or contemplations are necessary in order to know what mistakes shouldn't be made the next time around.
When one person has left the relationship, whether it be emotional, physical, or mental; it makes it much more difficult for the other person who hasn't left to get back in. I've noticed from past experience that there is little hope left when a person has gotten to the point where they stop doing things to make you feel special, they stop spending time with you, and they stop caring about your feelings. If someone feels that you're a very important part of their existence, even if they do escape the relationship temporarily, the love that they feel for you will supersede any thoughts of leaving.
This is why I believe it's very important to understand the person you are with because it will serve you best to familiarize yourself with their level of pride, arrogance, or egotism. Depending on the person, even if they feel like they want to show you that they really do love you, if they've showed you for so long that they don't; than their pride, arrogance, and ego will prevent them from showing it. In their mind, they are so concerned about how they might look to others that they won't submit. Therefore, as a result they would much rather prefer to let something that might have the potential to be good again go for the sake of their pride. This is the person that will have regrets when it's all said and done because they won't realize what they had until it's gone. Then by the time they decide that they are ready to put their pride to the side, the other person will probably have gotten over it and moved on to someone of a less self-absorbed nature.
Quote of the Day: "Love can be a battle sometimes but if you're fighting against pride and egotism you can't possibly have the artillery and ammunition necessary to prevail." ~ Candice Loper
Have you ever wondered why relationships that go bad can't be made whole again? I think about this often because I have been in several relationships that have went bad and I couldn't seem to understand why it couldn't be restored. I feel that these type of questions or contemplations are necessary in order to know what mistakes shouldn't be made the next time around.
When one person has left the relationship, whether it be emotional, physical, or mental; it makes it much more difficult for the other person who hasn't left to get back in. I've noticed from past experience that there is little hope left when a person has gotten to the point where they stop doing things to make you feel special, they stop spending time with you, and they stop caring about your feelings. If someone feels that you're a very important part of their existence, even if they do escape the relationship temporarily, the love that they feel for you will supersede any thoughts of leaving.
This is why I believe it's very important to understand the person you are with because it will serve you best to familiarize yourself with their level of pride, arrogance, or egotism. Depending on the person, even if they feel like they want to show you that they really do love you, if they've showed you for so long that they don't; than their pride, arrogance, and ego will prevent them from showing it. In their mind, they are so concerned about how they might look to others that they won't submit. Therefore, as a result they would much rather prefer to let something that might have the potential to be good again go for the sake of their pride. This is the person that will have regrets when it's all said and done because they won't realize what they had until it's gone. Then by the time they decide that they are ready to put their pride to the side, the other person will probably have gotten over it and moved on to someone of a less self-absorbed nature.
Quote of the Day: "Love can be a battle sometimes but if you're fighting against pride and egotism you can't possibly have the artillery and ammunition necessary to prevail." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Everyone Serves a Purpose
Good Morning Blogfam!!
Have you ever questioned the validity of a relationship you have with someone? I am sure there are those times when you feel like you wasted massive amounts of time with someone or you simply just don't understand the purpose of certain people in your life. Well I have come to realize that there is always a reason why someone is in your life, even if it's not initially clear in real time.
I have had many people come in and out of my life over the years. Sometimes the reason someone is in your life may not be relevant or specific to you, but they could have very well been placed in your life as a sole benefit to them. I have been involved in several relationships and friendships where at the end of it, I felt like I gained absolutely nothing and wasted unnecessary time. However, eventually I got to a point where I understood that I wasn't wasting time; I was gaining valuable experience in dealing with various type of people, including their thoughts, behaviors, and motives.
At one point in my life, I found myself in a situation where I felt like a person came into my life just to cause me pain and try to ruin who I knew myself to be. When I had my fall, I blamed everybody but myself. However, looking at the situation in hindsight; as weird as it sounds, I am able to be appreciative for that experience because had I not experienced it I wouldn't have had the opportunity to evolve into the woman that I am today. Sometimes when people come in your life and tear you down, they could be placed there to be your wrecking ball to prepare you for the re-build process. It's all about your perspective and ability to appreciate each experience individually.
Quote of the Day: "If life always gave you who or what you wanted, you wouldn't have a clue what to do if you received who or what you didn't want." ~ Candice Loper
Have you ever questioned the validity of a relationship you have with someone? I am sure there are those times when you feel like you wasted massive amounts of time with someone or you simply just don't understand the purpose of certain people in your life. Well I have come to realize that there is always a reason why someone is in your life, even if it's not initially clear in real time.
I have had many people come in and out of my life over the years. Sometimes the reason someone is in your life may not be relevant or specific to you, but they could have very well been placed in your life as a sole benefit to them. I have been involved in several relationships and friendships where at the end of it, I felt like I gained absolutely nothing and wasted unnecessary time. However, eventually I got to a point where I understood that I wasn't wasting time; I was gaining valuable experience in dealing with various type of people, including their thoughts, behaviors, and motives.
At one point in my life, I found myself in a situation where I felt like a person came into my life just to cause me pain and try to ruin who I knew myself to be. When I had my fall, I blamed everybody but myself. However, looking at the situation in hindsight; as weird as it sounds, I am able to be appreciative for that experience because had I not experienced it I wouldn't have had the opportunity to evolve into the woman that I am today. Sometimes when people come in your life and tear you down, they could be placed there to be your wrecking ball to prepare you for the re-build process. It's all about your perspective and ability to appreciate each experience individually.
Quote of the Day: "If life always gave you who or what you wanted, you wouldn't have a clue what to do if you received who or what you didn't want." ~ Candice Loper
Friday, May 6, 2011
Motherly Love
Happy Friday Blogfam!
Strictly for the MOTHERS!!!
I'm sure we've all found reasons to criticize or judge how other women raise their children, especially if it is different than how we raise ours or how we've been raised. I've been there and done that myself but what I came to realize is that there is no manual on raising children so what may be right to one may not be right to another. We're all learning each and every day.
Being a mother is the hardest job i've ever had but at the same time it's been the most rewarding. It's almost like a regular job, if you want to get paid good money you have to put in the hard work and earn it. Being a mother has required me to be strong when I felt like I wanted to be weak. I learned from my mother a long time ago that even when times are tough, your kids should never know it. When you raise them properly, they will recognize when things are different and they will respect the struggle without you having to tell them to. That's why when I made the decision to have children, I also made a decision that I was willing to give up a substantial amount of the "me" time I had been so used to for the "we" time that would provide me with a level of happiness I had never known.
I'm not saying that being a mother is always sheer enjoyment because it's not. There are those times when your kids will pluck your last nerve, when they do things to scare the hell out of you, when they go down the wrong path, and when they don't get the lessons that you try to teach to them. But one thing you can be sure of is when you show your children you care, they will shower you with a love that no one else could ever give you.
Quote of the Day: "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!"
Strictly for the MOTHERS!!!
I'm sure we've all found reasons to criticize or judge how other women raise their children, especially if it is different than how we raise ours or how we've been raised. I've been there and done that myself but what I came to realize is that there is no manual on raising children so what may be right to one may not be right to another. We're all learning each and every day.
Being a mother is the hardest job i've ever had but at the same time it's been the most rewarding. It's almost like a regular job, if you want to get paid good money you have to put in the hard work and earn it. Being a mother has required me to be strong when I felt like I wanted to be weak. I learned from my mother a long time ago that even when times are tough, your kids should never know it. When you raise them properly, they will recognize when things are different and they will respect the struggle without you having to tell them to. That's why when I made the decision to have children, I also made a decision that I was willing to give up a substantial amount of the "me" time I had been so used to for the "we" time that would provide me with a level of happiness I had never known.
I'm not saying that being a mother is always sheer enjoyment because it's not. There are those times when your kids will pluck your last nerve, when they do things to scare the hell out of you, when they go down the wrong path, and when they don't get the lessons that you try to teach to them. But one thing you can be sure of is when you show your children you care, they will shower you with a love that no one else could ever give you.
Quote of the Day: "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!"
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