Good Morning Blogfam!
There are times when people keep their expectations and feelings towards certain situations bottled up in a jar of hope. They want so badly for someone to be who they want them to be to them but they are the only person who is aware of it. When this takes place what ultimately ends up happening is some people let their emotions and disappointment get the best of them, then they begin to give off signs of resentment.
Personally, I am a friend who enjoys being a friend first before all else because I believe that friendship is the foundation for the long lasting structure. I would like to believe that it's easier to focus on being friends when there are no expectations for anything deeper. Consequently, the worst thing that a person can do to harm a friendship is to keep their feelings to themselves. I say this because people who care about one another will be honest about their thoughts, feelings, and expectations so the other person isn't being placed in a position to fail. When someone always tries to make me figure things out for myself or expect me to just read their mind, I get extremely frustrated because sometimes people need to be told so they can see and understand your perspective. Unfortunately, I have dealt with this too many times before, especially in the case of relationships. There always seems to be some kind of conflict and misunderstanding when people feel disappointed that someone is not living up to their expectations, however their feelings are self-inflicted because they haven't shared their expectations with the other person. I believe that stubborn people tend to be repeat offenders of this. They are so set in their ways that they have the mind frame that if they tell you what they're feeling then you're getting a free pass into their thoughts. I share my thoughts almost every day to the world so I can't seem to understand why people feel like they have to refrain sharing their thoughts with people they have a personal relationship with.
The point of all this is to let you know that it's okay to share your thoughts. Maybe you have been hurt or disappointed before after letting someone know what your expectations were, but at least you had the courage to be forthcoming with your feelings. This is not to say that you have to reveal everything that is on your mind, but if it is something that could potentially make or break the status of your friendship or relationship then it's best and fair to everyone to get it out.
Quote of the Day: "Your thoughts are only yours if you're the only person who will benefit or be affected by them." ~ Candice Loper
Candy Girl
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
They'll get it...if they want to
Good Morning Blogfam!
Well the holiday is over and my focus is BACK!
When your friends or family are going through tough times in relationships, depending on the severity of the issues it can get quite frustrating. I am sure we have all been there at some time or another when we wanted our loved ones to just see their situation through our eyes. Unfortunately it rarely ever works out like that because everyone realizes things in their own time.
I had a conversation with a friend about a previous relationship of mines and their question to me was: "Why did you stay in it if it was that bad?" Well there were many reasons why I stayed in that particular dysfunctional relationship. I wouldn't necessarily label those reasons as valid today but they were definitely relevant at the time it was taking place. The one thing that I believe it is important for people to understand is when people are in bad situations they don't have the ability to see things clearly. In my case, I completely lost all faith in who I knew myself to be. Had I remained the same Candice that I knew prior to then, I may have had the ability to overcome the pain and agony before it became severe. That's not to say that the Candice I was then is the same Candice that I am now, but no matter how you look at it, many facets of you will always be a part of your being. When your self worth turns into self doubt, eventually you begin living your life based on what you think you need to do or who you need to be based on how someone else may perceive you.
As a caring person you have to have a certain level of patience and understanding in order to be there for someone who may need all the support they can get. I believe people get that fine line between support and advice confused which is what causes frustration. For some people, when a friend comes to them to talk about a problem, instead of just being there they feel as though they have to provide advice. Sometimes the best advice is no advice because then you aren't putting yourself in a position where you have expectations of someone else's realization or reactions. It's actually quite funny to me now because when I was going through tough times previously I would have many conversations with friends for purposes of support, and at times advice. However, when I finally decided to realize that I had enough I didn't converse with anyone about it. I made my mind up and kept it moving. I shared that bit of information as a testament to the fact that everyone will do things in their own time, so just be patient and supportive at all times. They'll get it....if they want to.
Quote of the Day: "The joy of time is we all get to live each moment however we choose to. Don't expect someone to live life on your type of time." ~ Candice Loper
Well the holiday is over and my focus is BACK!
When your friends or family are going through tough times in relationships, depending on the severity of the issues it can get quite frustrating. I am sure we have all been there at some time or another when we wanted our loved ones to just see their situation through our eyes. Unfortunately it rarely ever works out like that because everyone realizes things in their own time.
I had a conversation with a friend about a previous relationship of mines and their question to me was: "Why did you stay in it if it was that bad?" Well there were many reasons why I stayed in that particular dysfunctional relationship. I wouldn't necessarily label those reasons as valid today but they were definitely relevant at the time it was taking place. The one thing that I believe it is important for people to understand is when people are in bad situations they don't have the ability to see things clearly. In my case, I completely lost all faith in who I knew myself to be. Had I remained the same Candice that I knew prior to then, I may have had the ability to overcome the pain and agony before it became severe. That's not to say that the Candice I was then is the same Candice that I am now, but no matter how you look at it, many facets of you will always be a part of your being. When your self worth turns into self doubt, eventually you begin living your life based on what you think you need to do or who you need to be based on how someone else may perceive you.
As a caring person you have to have a certain level of patience and understanding in order to be there for someone who may need all the support they can get. I believe people get that fine line between support and advice confused which is what causes frustration. For some people, when a friend comes to them to talk about a problem, instead of just being there they feel as though they have to provide advice. Sometimes the best advice is no advice because then you aren't putting yourself in a position where you have expectations of someone else's realization or reactions. It's actually quite funny to me now because when I was going through tough times previously I would have many conversations with friends for purposes of support, and at times advice. However, when I finally decided to realize that I had enough I didn't converse with anyone about it. I made my mind up and kept it moving. I shared that bit of information as a testament to the fact that everyone will do things in their own time, so just be patient and supportive at all times. They'll get it....if they want to.
Quote of the Day: "The joy of time is we all get to live each moment however we choose to. Don't expect someone to live life on your type of time." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, November 22, 2010
Effective Communication Takes Open Minds!
Good Morning Blogfam!
It's very rare for me to be speechless, especially in conversations that deal with love and relationships. However, I listened in on a conversation of a few 30+ individuals regarding why relationships fail. Majority of the women held a position that communication, or lack thereof is what tends to make relationships fail. As shocking as it may seem, the men didn't really have one particular reason but that's okay. There was a time before when I felt as though I was extremely bitter due to the things I had experienced in my previous relationships but after listening to this conversation, I realized that I wasn't bitter at all; I was aware.
I watched an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta where NeNe was upset with her husband Greg because of their failing marriage. She accused him of being a bad communicator which is what led to their problems. As a result of her accusations, Greg made a statement that "communication ain't talking". After listening to the conversation on Saturday night, I had come to the same conclusion as Greg. Some people use lack of communication as the reason why their relationships fail but communication isn't just talking. When you're in a relationship it's important to learn your significant other inside and out. It's actually funny that I used that particular choice of words; inside and out. If your significant other is an introvert than you can be sure that you won't get too many verbal responses out of this person, but that doesn't mean that they aren't telling you anything. You have to be open enough to pay attention to the signs. For example, if your man/woman had a bad day at the office, they come home with a slight attitude, and just don't want to talk that shouldn't be a cause for an argument. Quite possibly the situation can be rectified by running him/her some bath water, pouring a glass of wine, and just being there for that moment when they finally decide to talk about it. Arguments normally stem from people not getting a certain reaction or response when they want it, which can be prevented.
The biggest problem I see with communication is that people want what they want in the way that they want it. Maybe you are a talker and like to express yourself through words while your significant other chooses to express themselves through actions. Are you going to be get upset and allow your relationship to fail because of your own personal stubbornness? Believe it or not, that is a form of stubbornness; when you are expecting someone to communicate with you on your terms and get upset when they don't. If more people realized that talking is doesn't always answer your questions it would probably save more relationships. There have been times where I have had hour long conversations and by the end of it still had come to no resolution. This basically means we both wasted an hour of our lives talking for absolutely no reason. None of this is to say that you should try and figure things out, my only point is don't always look for your answers in the words because you may be able to learn a whole lot more just by recognizing certain behaviors.
Quote of the Day: "Words are only as relevant as the person they're coming from." ~ Candice Loper
It's very rare for me to be speechless, especially in conversations that deal with love and relationships. However, I listened in on a conversation of a few 30+ individuals regarding why relationships fail. Majority of the women held a position that communication, or lack thereof is what tends to make relationships fail. As shocking as it may seem, the men didn't really have one particular reason but that's okay. There was a time before when I felt as though I was extremely bitter due to the things I had experienced in my previous relationships but after listening to this conversation, I realized that I wasn't bitter at all; I was aware.
I watched an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta where NeNe was upset with her husband Greg because of their failing marriage. She accused him of being a bad communicator which is what led to their problems. As a result of her accusations, Greg made a statement that "communication ain't talking". After listening to the conversation on Saturday night, I had come to the same conclusion as Greg. Some people use lack of communication as the reason why their relationships fail but communication isn't just talking. When you're in a relationship it's important to learn your significant other inside and out. It's actually funny that I used that particular choice of words; inside and out. If your significant other is an introvert than you can be sure that you won't get too many verbal responses out of this person, but that doesn't mean that they aren't telling you anything. You have to be open enough to pay attention to the signs. For example, if your man/woman had a bad day at the office, they come home with a slight attitude, and just don't want to talk that shouldn't be a cause for an argument. Quite possibly the situation can be rectified by running him/her some bath water, pouring a glass of wine, and just being there for that moment when they finally decide to talk about it. Arguments normally stem from people not getting a certain reaction or response when they want it, which can be prevented.
The biggest problem I see with communication is that people want what they want in the way that they want it. Maybe you are a talker and like to express yourself through words while your significant other chooses to express themselves through actions. Are you going to be get upset and allow your relationship to fail because of your own personal stubbornness? Believe it or not, that is a form of stubbornness; when you are expecting someone to communicate with you on your terms and get upset when they don't. If more people realized that talking is doesn't always answer your questions it would probably save more relationships. There have been times where I have had hour long conversations and by the end of it still had come to no resolution. This basically means we both wasted an hour of our lives talking for absolutely no reason. None of this is to say that you should try and figure things out, my only point is don't always look for your answers in the words because you may be able to learn a whole lot more just by recognizing certain behaviors.
Quote of the Day: "Words are only as relevant as the person they're coming from." ~ Candice Loper
Friday, November 19, 2010
Live a Little...or a lot!
Happy Friday Blogfam!
Do you ever feel like you life is just one big schedule? It seems as though majority of your time is spent attending meetings, appointments, work, conferences, or events. When you're constantly busy it takes away from the spontaneity that life has to offer. I believe that people get trapped in the natural routine of things that they don't find time to just either do nothing or to do something they wouldn't normally do. I understand that structure is necessary in order to maintain a certain level of order in your life, however spontaneity doesn't automatically constitute disorganization or lack of prioritization.
Over time I have realized that when you prioritize, things will fall into place. However, when you spend majority of your time trying to plan or schedule every single minute of your life, before you know it so much time will have passed and you may be asking yourself "where did the time go?" I have always been a very spontaneous person because I like to experience and enjoy the unexpected. There is nothing like doing something you've never did in the spur of the moment. It's gives me a thrill and a natural high that I don't normally feel. Not to mention, the funnest people to be with are the ones who enjoy life and all that it brings. In addition to other factors, I think a lack of spontaneity is what ruins a lot of relationships. People get caught up in routines and they forget that the element of surprise has the ability to provide that "turn on factor" that's necessary to keep the relationship spicy. As with most things in life, it's important to have a balance or else you will end up wasting away doing the things you don't particularly enjoy doing. This goes hand in hand with risk and reward; being spontaneous can involve taking risks so you have to recognize the potential rewards from your actions. Personally, my reward tends to be pleasure and fulfillment in doing what makes me happy.
Quote of the Day: "If your structure is strong enough, a slight breeze of spontaneity won't be able to tear it down. Have fun and enjoy life!" ~ Candice Loper
Do you ever feel like you life is just one big schedule? It seems as though majority of your time is spent attending meetings, appointments, work, conferences, or events. When you're constantly busy it takes away from the spontaneity that life has to offer. I believe that people get trapped in the natural routine of things that they don't find time to just either do nothing or to do something they wouldn't normally do. I understand that structure is necessary in order to maintain a certain level of order in your life, however spontaneity doesn't automatically constitute disorganization or lack of prioritization.
Over time I have realized that when you prioritize, things will fall into place. However, when you spend majority of your time trying to plan or schedule every single minute of your life, before you know it so much time will have passed and you may be asking yourself "where did the time go?" I have always been a very spontaneous person because I like to experience and enjoy the unexpected. There is nothing like doing something you've never did in the spur of the moment. It's gives me a thrill and a natural high that I don't normally feel. Not to mention, the funnest people to be with are the ones who enjoy life and all that it brings. In addition to other factors, I think a lack of spontaneity is what ruins a lot of relationships. People get caught up in routines and they forget that the element of surprise has the ability to provide that "turn on factor" that's necessary to keep the relationship spicy. As with most things in life, it's important to have a balance or else you will end up wasting away doing the things you don't particularly enjoy doing. This goes hand in hand with risk and reward; being spontaneous can involve taking risks so you have to recognize the potential rewards from your actions. Personally, my reward tends to be pleasure and fulfillment in doing what makes me happy.
Quote of the Day: "If your structure is strong enough, a slight breeze of spontaneity won't be able to tear it down. Have fun and enjoy life!" ~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Reflect Don't Dwell
Good Morning Blogfam!
Have you ever taken the time out to reflect on your life? Well I am here to tell you that is is extremely important to do so in order to realize your strengths and weaknesses. When you look in the mirror what do you see? You see a reflection of yourself in that mirror; sometimes your hair can't get right, you may have a pimple, or you just look damn good! Therefore, when you take the time out to reflect on your past, you then have the ability to recognize areas of improvement or areas where you are satisfied. However, self-reflection is not to be confused with dwelling on the past because there is a major difference. Those who dwell on the past are typically people who have endured painful experiences which they struggle to move forward from. Those who reflect are people who focus on the positive and negative aspects of their past.
On a personal note I have endured many tough experiences in my past that I never thought I would be able to get past. Specifically in the case of relationships because I always had a difficult time understanding why things didn't work out. So instead of reflecting on the entire situation to determine my values and flaws, I dwelled on it and only ended up beating myself up because all I could focus on were the flaws. Eventually I realized that looking at the past negatively was placing a barrier on my mental progression. There came a time when my thoughts on the past were taking over me mentally which hindered my entire thinking process. I felt like I was stranded on deserted island and my past was the water surrounding me. Eventually there came a time when I had to swim to reach land (which symbolized my present). Once I was able to get through the past to reach my present, the only time I was faced with revisiting my past was when I was flying over it to get to my destination.
Quote of the Day: "Don't let your present suffer for the things your past did." ~ Candice Loper
Have you ever taken the time out to reflect on your life? Well I am here to tell you that is is extremely important to do so in order to realize your strengths and weaknesses. When you look in the mirror what do you see? You see a reflection of yourself in that mirror; sometimes your hair can't get right, you may have a pimple, or you just look damn good! Therefore, when you take the time out to reflect on your past, you then have the ability to recognize areas of improvement or areas where you are satisfied. However, self-reflection is not to be confused with dwelling on the past because there is a major difference. Those who dwell on the past are typically people who have endured painful experiences which they struggle to move forward from. Those who reflect are people who focus on the positive and negative aspects of their past.
On a personal note I have endured many tough experiences in my past that I never thought I would be able to get past. Specifically in the case of relationships because I always had a difficult time understanding why things didn't work out. So instead of reflecting on the entire situation to determine my values and flaws, I dwelled on it and only ended up beating myself up because all I could focus on were the flaws. Eventually I realized that looking at the past negatively was placing a barrier on my mental progression. There came a time when my thoughts on the past were taking over me mentally which hindered my entire thinking process. I felt like I was stranded on deserted island and my past was the water surrounding me. Eventually there came a time when I had to swim to reach land (which symbolized my present). Once I was able to get through the past to reach my present, the only time I was faced with revisiting my past was when I was flying over it to get to my destination.
Quote of the Day: "Don't let your present suffer for the things your past did." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
No Goals = No Life
Good Morning Blogfam!
Goals are a very important part of life for each and every one of us. Goals gives you something concrete to strive for, as well as providing you with a purpose. There are too many people in the world that are just here. When you have a limited sense of motivation you are pretty much proving that you are content with the life you are living. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that because that could just be the path that you are on in life. Maybe your path consists of waiting for everything to fall in your lap or waiting for your purpose to be revealed to you one day. Who am I to judge?? However, I would think that a path of waiting couldn't possibly be as fulfilling as going out to get it.
There have been times when I didn't know if I was coming or going and pretty much just living a day-to-day life. However, once I realized what my passion was I began goal-setting to fulfill my purpose. The most successful people aren't the ones who had their careers and riches handed to them, they are the ones who planned and worked really hard to reach their goals. When I didn't have anything I was striving for I felt so lost and confused. Not to mention, I was easily swayed by others on what they thought my passion should be. Eventually I began to realize my purpose and that's when I wasn't easily swayed anymore. There is a contrast to that also because there will be times when you have figured out what you want to do and where you want to go, but then you have those people who are trying to persuade you to take another route. Sometimes this stems from people who may have tried to pursue your goals but was unsuccessful or people who think they know you better than you know yourself.
Setting goals doesn't just pertain to adults either, especially when you have children. Children don't have the ability to plan their future when they're young. Therefore, as their parents we have to have goals for ourselves as well as having initial goals for our children.
Quote of the Day: "Your opportunities are only as limited as your aspirations." ~ Candice Loper
Goals are a very important part of life for each and every one of us. Goals gives you something concrete to strive for, as well as providing you with a purpose. There are too many people in the world that are just here. When you have a limited sense of motivation you are pretty much proving that you are content with the life you are living. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that because that could just be the path that you are on in life. Maybe your path consists of waiting for everything to fall in your lap or waiting for your purpose to be revealed to you one day. Who am I to judge?? However, I would think that a path of waiting couldn't possibly be as fulfilling as going out to get it.
There have been times when I didn't know if I was coming or going and pretty much just living a day-to-day life. However, once I realized what my passion was I began goal-setting to fulfill my purpose. The most successful people aren't the ones who had their careers and riches handed to them, they are the ones who planned and worked really hard to reach their goals. When I didn't have anything I was striving for I felt so lost and confused. Not to mention, I was easily swayed by others on what they thought my passion should be. Eventually I began to realize my purpose and that's when I wasn't easily swayed anymore. There is a contrast to that also because there will be times when you have figured out what you want to do and where you want to go, but then you have those people who are trying to persuade you to take another route. Sometimes this stems from people who may have tried to pursue your goals but was unsuccessful or people who think they know you better than you know yourself.
Setting goals doesn't just pertain to adults either, especially when you have children. Children don't have the ability to plan their future when they're young. Therefore, as their parents we have to have goals for ourselves as well as having initial goals for our children.
Quote of the Day: "Your opportunities are only as limited as your aspirations." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, November 15, 2010
United We Stand...Divided We Fall!
Good Afternoon Blogfam!
What do you do when you have no motivation? You have to seek and find motivation from somewhere. Today has been a fairly thoughtless day for me, which I am not complaining about whatsoever. However, I had to dig down deep to find something that moves me to talk to you about today.
I have problems with division, and no i'm talking about mathematically. I'm speaking about division amongst people who should be united. I've seen this happen far too many times in many different cases. I think it bothers me most in the case of family and women. Friends and enemies come and go very easily because you're not bound by anything. However, no matter how you look at it family is forever. It makes no sense to battle your family members when there are so many exterior battles that could be won if everyone could come together and form an alliance. While I also realize that individual personalities have a tendency to clash, many times when issues arise it's because of something much deeper than just a personality conflict. Whether it be friends or family, if you find yourself having a hard time being happy or connecting with people on a personal level it could be due to something that you're lacking.
Now we all know that women have the hardest time giving another woman credit where it's due. I'm not sure if it's egotistical, jealousy, selfishness, or just plain old misery but I do feel that more women should extend compliments and kudos when appropriate. If we lift each other up, then it would be much harder for someone else to break us down. So I encourage my beautiful women to give a compliment today to someone without caring about how they receive it. I promise it will make you feel better and deep down it may make her feel better too.
Quote of the Day: "Think of your relationships as weights. Try your best to lift them up and you'll get stronger in the process." ~ Candice Loper
What do you do when you have no motivation? You have to seek and find motivation from somewhere. Today has been a fairly thoughtless day for me, which I am not complaining about whatsoever. However, I had to dig down deep to find something that moves me to talk to you about today.
I have problems with division, and no i'm talking about mathematically. I'm speaking about division amongst people who should be united. I've seen this happen far too many times in many different cases. I think it bothers me most in the case of family and women. Friends and enemies come and go very easily because you're not bound by anything. However, no matter how you look at it family is forever. It makes no sense to battle your family members when there are so many exterior battles that could be won if everyone could come together and form an alliance. While I also realize that individual personalities have a tendency to clash, many times when issues arise it's because of something much deeper than just a personality conflict. Whether it be friends or family, if you find yourself having a hard time being happy or connecting with people on a personal level it could be due to something that you're lacking.
Now we all know that women have the hardest time giving another woman credit where it's due. I'm not sure if it's egotistical, jealousy, selfishness, or just plain old misery but I do feel that more women should extend compliments and kudos when appropriate. If we lift each other up, then it would be much harder for someone else to break us down. So I encourage my beautiful women to give a compliment today to someone without caring about how they receive it. I promise it will make you feel better and deep down it may make her feel better too.
Quote of the Day: "Think of your relationships as weights. Try your best to lift them up and you'll get stronger in the process." ~ Candice Loper
Friday, November 12, 2010
Positive Actions Produce Positive Results
Good Morning Blogfam!
Life won't always consist of what we want so we have to have the ability to recognize the bad, while trying our best to reform it into good. Some people just don't have the ability to do that, so as a result they end up ACCEPTING it. What they aren't realizing is that accepting is much different than recognizing. When you recognize something you are basically identifying and analyzing it for potential change. Whereas when you accept something you are setting yourself up to deal with it is as is.
My ability to recognize and reform my bad is due to a number of things. However, the primary reason is because I see reformation as a positive challenge. It gives me a feeling of victory to know that I was able to successfully contribute to my happiness by taking something bad and making it good. This doesn't just apply to things in a physical sense, this is also deals with our perspectives and behavior. When you look at things from a bad perspective it blocks your ability to see the positive side of the situation. In my opinion, when things are bad it doesn't mean that everything is bad, it just means you have to dig a little deeper to recognize the good.
There have been times before when I have tried to persuade my friends to see what I thought was positive in a situation that they saw as being negative. However, eventually I realized that you can't persuade anyone to see things a certain way, they just have to be tired of seeing things the way they do. On a personal note I hate being down, I hate feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I hate being robbed of my optimism. So my alleviation method is to keep a positive perspective and continue to remind myself that "It's never as bad as it seems".
Quote of the Day: "
Life won't always consist of what we want so we have to have the ability to recognize the bad, while trying our best to reform it into good. Some people just don't have the ability to do that, so as a result they end up ACCEPTING it. What they aren't realizing is that accepting is much different than recognizing. When you recognize something you are basically identifying and analyzing it for potential change. Whereas when you accept something you are setting yourself up to deal with it is as is.
My ability to recognize and reform my bad is due to a number of things. However, the primary reason is because I see reformation as a positive challenge. It gives me a feeling of victory to know that I was able to successfully contribute to my happiness by taking something bad and making it good. This doesn't just apply to things in a physical sense, this is also deals with our perspectives and behavior. When you look at things from a bad perspective it blocks your ability to see the positive side of the situation. In my opinion, when things are bad it doesn't mean that everything is bad, it just means you have to dig a little deeper to recognize the good.
There have been times before when I have tried to persuade my friends to see what I thought was positive in a situation that they saw as being negative. However, eventually I realized that you can't persuade anyone to see things a certain way, they just have to be tired of seeing things the way they do. On a personal note I hate being down, I hate feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I hate being robbed of my optimism. So my alleviation method is to keep a positive perspective and continue to remind myself that "It's never as bad as it seems".
Quote of the Day: "
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I am a YES Woman!
Good Morning Blogfam!
Today I am going to keep it very short!
When it comes to work I have always been a "Yes Woman" because I am the type of person who does what needs to be done to get the job done. I would say that I do that in my personal life as well, however we all know that there will be plenty more times that "no" will be necessary. Operating with the motto; there is no true job description has helped me excel professionally.
I believe there are people get caught up with office politics, egotistical thoughts, and "job descriptions" so they don't push themselves so they can stand out from the rest. If you do what everyone else does then you'll get what everyone else gets which means you are...well...average. I have always had the desire to strive for above average results which causes me to perform in an above average way. Which is why today I just want to express how thankful I am for the new opportunity I have been blessed with professionally.
Quote for the Day: "Give it all you've got and you'll get more than you ever thought you'd get." ~ Candice Loper
Today I am going to keep it very short!
When it comes to work I have always been a "Yes Woman" because I am the type of person who does what needs to be done to get the job done. I would say that I do that in my personal life as well, however we all know that there will be plenty more times that "no" will be necessary. Operating with the motto; there is no true job description has helped me excel professionally.
I believe there are people get caught up with office politics, egotistical thoughts, and "job descriptions" so they don't push themselves so they can stand out from the rest. If you do what everyone else does then you'll get what everyone else gets which means you are...well...average. I have always had the desire to strive for above average results which causes me to perform in an above average way. Which is why today I just want to express how thankful I am for the new opportunity I have been blessed with professionally.
Quote for the Day: "Give it all you've got and you'll get more than you ever thought you'd get." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Risk, Reward & Consequences
Good Morning Blogfam!
The feeling of fear is what typically holds people back from doing certain things or taking certain steps in life. Anything that you've never experienced before can be defined as the unknown. Many people fear the unknown and normally those are people who don't take risks in life. However, i'm sure we've all heard the saying that without risk there is no reward. I'm not sure that I am 100% in line with that statement because even without risk there is the potential for reward. It's just that when you take a risk you are trying to gain more than you would if you played it safe.
We will encounter many situations and circumstances in our lifetime that may require taking some sort of risk. However, with each chance you take you have to always consider your benefits as well as your potential consequences. Think about this from the perspective of a gambler who is always risking their money with the hopes that it will multiply. In that case, depending on the severity of the gambling you are risking your stability on a hope. I think it is important for us to recognize the type of risk we're taking. Is it a safe risk that won't have too much of an affect on your life or is it a risk that could make or break your position in life? Those are the questions that I ask myself before I do something. I am not a huge risk taker because I enjoy being comfortable but I do tend to take risks in the case of relationships. Anytime you decide to give someone your heart or even your time, you are risking being hurt. At any rate, that is a risk I am more than willing to take because looking forward to the reward of happiness is what motivates me to take a chance. However, I have realized that when you take risks you can't turn around and complain when it doesn't work out the way you HOPED it would. You have have to accept your outcome and take responsibility for your actions.
Quote for the Day: "With every chance I take there's a certain level of risk...therefore regret doesn't exist in my world. There is no regret with risk, only the potential for consequences or reward!" ~ Candice Loper
The feeling of fear is what typically holds people back from doing certain things or taking certain steps in life. Anything that you've never experienced before can be defined as the unknown. Many people fear the unknown and normally those are people who don't take risks in life. However, i'm sure we've all heard the saying that without risk there is no reward. I'm not sure that I am 100% in line with that statement because even without risk there is the potential for reward. It's just that when you take a risk you are trying to gain more than you would if you played it safe.
We will encounter many situations and circumstances in our lifetime that may require taking some sort of risk. However, with each chance you take you have to always consider your benefits as well as your potential consequences. Think about this from the perspective of a gambler who is always risking their money with the hopes that it will multiply. In that case, depending on the severity of the gambling you are risking your stability on a hope. I think it is important for us to recognize the type of risk we're taking. Is it a safe risk that won't have too much of an affect on your life or is it a risk that could make or break your position in life? Those are the questions that I ask myself before I do something. I am not a huge risk taker because I enjoy being comfortable but I do tend to take risks in the case of relationships. Anytime you decide to give someone your heart or even your time, you are risking being hurt. At any rate, that is a risk I am more than willing to take because looking forward to the reward of happiness is what motivates me to take a chance. However, I have realized that when you take risks you can't turn around and complain when it doesn't work out the way you HOPED it would. You have have to accept your outcome and take responsibility for your actions.
Quote for the Day: "With every chance I take there's a certain level of risk...therefore regret doesn't exist in my world. There is no regret with risk, only the potential for consequences or reward!" ~ Candice Loper
Monday, November 8, 2010
To Keep or Not To Keep...
Good Afternoon Blogfam!
As weird as it sounds I appreciate my hardships because it's setting me up for the good times that lie ahead. A primary personal goal of mines is to be as peaceful as possible. However, we all know there will be times when an abundance of issues at one time just has the ability to wear on you. I have realized that it's not about what problems you have, it's about how you choose to deal with them. Therefore, I prefer to practice the elimination method; if something is ailing me or causing me stress then I tend to just eliminate it from my life. I'd like to think that it's the mature thing to do because it prevents me from lashing out in other ways.
We should all know our limits and be able to recognize when we're getting close to them. Normally the people that don't are the ones that make rash decisions or have the potential to just explode at any given moment. It takes a certain level of maturity to be able to brush your shoulders off and keep it moving but some people just get a thrill from a battle. However, that's when it's important to do what you have to do to maintain your peace and maturity, which sometimes requires eliminating certain things from your life. I think it's natural to focus on the potential benefits but at times it prevents you from seeing the potential detriments that a situation may present. Therefore, analyze everything so you can recognize the full value, then it will make it easier when it comes to figuring out what's worth staying and what should go.
Quote of the Day: "Anything of value will increase your worth. So if something is taking away from it, that means it's worthless, get rid of it." ~ Candice Loper
As weird as it sounds I appreciate my hardships because it's setting me up for the good times that lie ahead. A primary personal goal of mines is to be as peaceful as possible. However, we all know there will be times when an abundance of issues at one time just has the ability to wear on you. I have realized that it's not about what problems you have, it's about how you choose to deal with them. Therefore, I prefer to practice the elimination method; if something is ailing me or causing me stress then I tend to just eliminate it from my life. I'd like to think that it's the mature thing to do because it prevents me from lashing out in other ways.
We should all know our limits and be able to recognize when we're getting close to them. Normally the people that don't are the ones that make rash decisions or have the potential to just explode at any given moment. It takes a certain level of maturity to be able to brush your shoulders off and keep it moving but some people just get a thrill from a battle. However, that's when it's important to do what you have to do to maintain your peace and maturity, which sometimes requires eliminating certain things from your life. I think it's natural to focus on the potential benefits but at times it prevents you from seeing the potential detriments that a situation may present. Therefore, analyze everything so you can recognize the full value, then it will make it easier when it comes to figuring out what's worth staying and what should go.
Quote of the Day: "Anything of value will increase your worth. So if something is taking away from it, that means it's worthless, get rid of it." ~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Perception Shouldn't Be Pressure!
Good Morning Blogfam!
There are many people who go through life being overly concerned about how they are perceived by others. I stress the word "overly" because while it is important to be aware of how you are viewed by others, it is not to be used as a guide for how you live your life. In addition to having the ability to recognize the perceptions of others you must also have the ability to analyze your audience. I say this because everyone has their own set of eyes which makes them see things their way, whereas the next person may see it differently.
We have to realize that we are our best judge, especially when you have the ability to be honest with yourself. If you aren't able to assess the ramifications of your own behavior then there is no way to adequately determine that how someone else assesses it is right or wrong. When you are comfortable and confident with who you are, outside perceptions won't have too much of an affect on you personally. I believe that perception and conscience go hand-in-hand, because when you possess the gift of conscience you are able to live life positively which mitigates the risk of others having a negative perception of you.
Being secure with yourself and recognizing your self-worth is what eliminates the pressure that society puts on you to live the way they think you should. The main point of this entire blog entry is that with the difference of opinions, perspectives, and perceptions it is important to be aware of and do what is pleasing to you. Once you acquire a strong relationship with self you will be much more prone to doing what you feel is right because you wouldn't want to let yourself down. Once you ruin that relationship with yourself by losing trust in your ability to do what is pleasing to you, you will then live based on the outside perception of others because you won't have yourself to lean on anymore.
Quote of the Day: "While it is extremely important to be AWARE of how you are perceived by others, it is more important to be SECURE in how you perceive yourself." ~ Candice Loper
There are many people who go through life being overly concerned about how they are perceived by others. I stress the word "overly" because while it is important to be aware of how you are viewed by others, it is not to be used as a guide for how you live your life. In addition to having the ability to recognize the perceptions of others you must also have the ability to analyze your audience. I say this because everyone has their own set of eyes which makes them see things their way, whereas the next person may see it differently.
We have to realize that we are our best judge, especially when you have the ability to be honest with yourself. If you aren't able to assess the ramifications of your own behavior then there is no way to adequately determine that how someone else assesses it is right or wrong. When you are comfortable and confident with who you are, outside perceptions won't have too much of an affect on you personally. I believe that perception and conscience go hand-in-hand, because when you possess the gift of conscience you are able to live life positively which mitigates the risk of others having a negative perception of you.
Being secure with yourself and recognizing your self-worth is what eliminates the pressure that society puts on you to live the way they think you should. The main point of this entire blog entry is that with the difference of opinions, perspectives, and perceptions it is important to be aware of and do what is pleasing to you. Once you acquire a strong relationship with self you will be much more prone to doing what you feel is right because you wouldn't want to let yourself down. Once you ruin that relationship with yourself by losing trust in your ability to do what is pleasing to you, you will then live based on the outside perception of others because you won't have yourself to lean on anymore.
Quote of the Day: "While it is extremely important to be AWARE of how you are perceived by others, it is more important to be SECURE in how you perceive yourself." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Conscience is a Valuable Gift
Good Morning Blogfam!
Attributes are endless when it comes to the make up of someones character. I believe that everyone should be aware of their attributes, as well as their flaws or imperfections. Attributes are qualities that you possess and it's important that you know exactly what they are because it helps when realizing what you're worth and what you can bring to the table. In contrast, it is also just as important to be aware of your flaws because it gives you the ability to determine your areas of improvement.
Personally, my most valuable attribute is my conscience. If you didn't think that having a conscience was an attribute I am here to tell you that it is. Not only is it an attribute it is a GIFT! Conscience allows you to make decisions based on what you know is right, and it also gives you the ability to foresee any potential consequences you may encounter based on those decisions. The first time I realized that I had a conscience was when I wasn't even aware of what a conscience was. When I was a teenager I entered into my first serious relationship and of course there were a lot of things that I didn't know. However, one thing that I learned fairly quickly was that when you do something wrong, it can torment you mentally. At that time, I wasn't aware that what I was experiencing was a guilty conscience. Even when I tried to block the thought from my mind, if I saw my boyfriend I would instantly feel a major sense of guilt that I had never experienced before. Finally, one day my conscience got the best of me and I just came out and told him about my infidelities. Although it was hurtful and I was ashamed, I felt a major sense of relief that I had never experienced before.
I took that experience and used it as motivation to try my best to do the right things in life. I didn't appreciate that feeling of deceit and guilt that I had inflicted upon myself. So I realized that if I focus on doing the right thing than those feelings will be non-existent. Conscience typically doesn't present itself unless it involves some sort of wrong doing. Presently, my conscience is free and it feels amazing to know that the feeling of guilt and conviction doesn't exist in my world.
Quote of the Day: "Guilty conscience is a personal conviction. Therefore, since you serve as your own judge strive for innocence because it will allow you to be free." ~ Candice Loper
Attributes are endless when it comes to the make up of someones character. I believe that everyone should be aware of their attributes, as well as their flaws or imperfections. Attributes are qualities that you possess and it's important that you know exactly what they are because it helps when realizing what you're worth and what you can bring to the table. In contrast, it is also just as important to be aware of your flaws because it gives you the ability to determine your areas of improvement.
Personally, my most valuable attribute is my conscience. If you didn't think that having a conscience was an attribute I am here to tell you that it is. Not only is it an attribute it is a GIFT! Conscience allows you to make decisions based on what you know is right, and it also gives you the ability to foresee any potential consequences you may encounter based on those decisions. The first time I realized that I had a conscience was when I wasn't even aware of what a conscience was. When I was a teenager I entered into my first serious relationship and of course there were a lot of things that I didn't know. However, one thing that I learned fairly quickly was that when you do something wrong, it can torment you mentally. At that time, I wasn't aware that what I was experiencing was a guilty conscience. Even when I tried to block the thought from my mind, if I saw my boyfriend I would instantly feel a major sense of guilt that I had never experienced before. Finally, one day my conscience got the best of me and I just came out and told him about my infidelities. Although it was hurtful and I was ashamed, I felt a major sense of relief that I had never experienced before.
I took that experience and used it as motivation to try my best to do the right things in life. I didn't appreciate that feeling of deceit and guilt that I had inflicted upon myself. So I realized that if I focus on doing the right thing than those feelings will be non-existent. Conscience typically doesn't present itself unless it involves some sort of wrong doing. Presently, my conscience is free and it feels amazing to know that the feeling of guilt and conviction doesn't exist in my world.
Quote of the Day: "Guilty conscience is a personal conviction. Therefore, since you serve as your own judge strive for innocence because it will allow you to be free." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Battle is Yours!!!
Good Morning Blogfam!
It's important to choose your "battles" wisely as it will prevent unnecessary stress and turmoil. I always question the motive of people who have a tendency to blow each and every situation that they encounter out of proportion. Clearly, there is an agenda that they are trying to live out because typically people that are existing with a certain degree of pain tend to feel that they are always the victim. Whereas, it takes a strong person to be able to look past certain situations and realize what's worth the "fight" and what's not. However, once you cross over that threshold into weakness, it directly affects your ability to make clear decisions. Being as though this type of weakness is normally driven by emotions it makes it more difficult to utilize common sense when addressing situations.
I have a tendency to be very direct and strong in my opinions so I have been that person who always had to make my point. However, in establishing a closer relationship with myself I acquired the ability to realize when my thoughts are warranted and when they're not. Some people find it difficult to just keep quiet and let a person have their way because they feel like every difference of opinion is a personal challenge against them. However, you have to realize that it's only important to voice your opinion when it will serve as a benefit to the situation, or if you can provide enlightenment to someone else. Otherwise, you're just wasting unnecessary time and energy.
In addition to having the ability to determine which "battle" is worth the "fight", it's also important to realize who your battle is with. If someone does you wrong, if you even want to waste your energy on that person, you have to understand that the "battle" is with them and no one else. For example, if a man is unfaithful to a woman than her issue is with him and no one else. However, you have those people who get so upset that they take it out on anyone who is in direct contact with that person. It's not his friends fault that he cheated, even if they are cheaters too because he is his own person and his behavior is not anyone else's responsibility.
Quote of the Day: "A battle is not always won by taking the other person out, sometimes surrendering constitutes winning because you had the ability to take the high road. You may not be a winner in everyone's eyes but being a winner in your own eyes is what's important!" ~ Candice Loper
It's important to choose your "battles" wisely as it will prevent unnecessary stress and turmoil. I always question the motive of people who have a tendency to blow each and every situation that they encounter out of proportion. Clearly, there is an agenda that they are trying to live out because typically people that are existing with a certain degree of pain tend to feel that they are always the victim. Whereas, it takes a strong person to be able to look past certain situations and realize what's worth the "fight" and what's not. However, once you cross over that threshold into weakness, it directly affects your ability to make clear decisions. Being as though this type of weakness is normally driven by emotions it makes it more difficult to utilize common sense when addressing situations.
I have a tendency to be very direct and strong in my opinions so I have been that person who always had to make my point. However, in establishing a closer relationship with myself I acquired the ability to realize when my thoughts are warranted and when they're not. Some people find it difficult to just keep quiet and let a person have their way because they feel like every difference of opinion is a personal challenge against them. However, you have to realize that it's only important to voice your opinion when it will serve as a benefit to the situation, or if you can provide enlightenment to someone else. Otherwise, you're just wasting unnecessary time and energy.
In addition to having the ability to determine which "battle" is worth the "fight", it's also important to realize who your battle is with. If someone does you wrong, if you even want to waste your energy on that person, you have to understand that the "battle" is with them and no one else. For example, if a man is unfaithful to a woman than her issue is with him and no one else. However, you have those people who get so upset that they take it out on anyone who is in direct contact with that person. It's not his friends fault that he cheated, even if they are cheaters too because he is his own person and his behavior is not anyone else's responsibility.
Quote of the Day: "A battle is not always won by taking the other person out, sometimes surrendering constitutes winning because you had the ability to take the high road. You may not be a winner in everyone's eyes but being a winner in your own eyes is what's important!" ~ Candice Loper
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