Effective Communication Takes Open Minds!

Good Morning Blogfam!


It's very rare for me to be speechless, especially in conversations that deal with love and relationships.  However, I listened in on a conversation of a few 30+ individuals regarding why relationships fail.  Majority of the women held a position that communication, or lack thereof is what tends to make relationships fail.  As shocking as it may seem, the men didn't really have one particular reason but that's okay.  There was a time before when I felt as though I was extremely bitter due to the things I had experienced in my previous relationships but after listening to this conversation, I realized that I wasn't bitter at all; I was aware.


I watched an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta where NeNe was upset with her husband Greg because of their failing marriage.  She accused him of being a bad communicator which is what led to their problems.  As a result of her accusations, Greg made a statement that "communication ain't talking".  After listening to the conversation on Saturday night, I had come to the same conclusion as Greg.  Some people use lack of communication as the reason why their relationships fail but communication isn't just talking.  When you're in a relationship it's important to learn your significant other inside and out.  It's actually funny that I used that particular choice of words; inside and out.  If your significant other is an introvert than you can be sure that you won't get too many verbal responses out of this person, but that doesn't mean that they aren't telling you anything.  You have to be open enough to pay attention to the signs.  For example, if your man/woman had a bad day at the office, they come home with a slight attitude, and just don't want to talk that shouldn't be a cause for an argument.  Quite possibly the situation can be rectified by running him/her some bath water, pouring a glass of wine, and just being there for that moment when they finally decide to talk about it.  Arguments normally stem from people not getting a certain reaction or response when they want it, which can be prevented.


The biggest problem I see with communication is that people want what they want in the way that they want it.  Maybe you are a talker and like to express yourself through words while your significant other chooses to express themselves through actions.  Are you going to be get upset and allow your relationship to fail because of your own personal stubbornness?  Believe it or not, that is a form of stubbornness; when you are expecting someone to communicate with you on your terms and get upset when they don't.  If more people realized that talking is doesn't always answer your questions it would probably save more relationships.  There have been times where I have had hour long conversations and by the end of it still had come to no resolution.  This basically means we both wasted an hour of our lives talking for absolutely no reason.  None of this is to say that you should try and figure things out, my only point is don't always look for your answers in the words because you may be able to learn a whole lot more just by recognizing certain behaviors.


Quote of the Day: "Words are only as relevant as the person they're coming from." ~ Candice Loper