They'll get it...if they want to

Good Morning Blogfam!


Well the holiday is over and my focus is BACK! 


When your friends or family are going through tough times in relationships, depending on the severity of the issues it can get quite frustrating.  I am sure we have all been there at some time or another when we wanted our loved ones to just see their situation through our eyes.  Unfortunately it rarely ever works out like that because everyone realizes things in their own time.


I had a conversation with a friend about a previous relationship of mines and their question to me was: "Why did you stay in it if it was that bad?"  Well there were many reasons why I stayed in that particular dysfunctional relationship.  I wouldn't necessarily label those reasons as valid today but they were definitely relevant at the time it was taking place.  The one thing that I believe it is important for people to understand is when people are in bad situations they don't have the ability to see things clearly.  In my case, I completely lost all faith in who I knew myself to be.  Had I remained the same Candice that I knew prior to then, I may have had the ability to overcome the pain and agony before it became severe.  That's not to say that the Candice I was then is the same Candice that I am now, but no matter how you look at it, many facets of you will always be a part of your being.  When your self worth turns into self doubt, eventually you begin living your life based on what you think you need to do or who you need to be based on how someone else may perceive you. 


As a caring person you have to have a certain level of patience and understanding in order to be there for someone who may need all the support they can get.  I believe people get that fine line between support and advice confused which is what causes frustration.  For some people, when a friend comes to them to talk about a problem, instead of just being there they feel as though they have to provide advice.  Sometimes the best advice is no advice because then you aren't putting yourself in a position where you have expectations of someone else's realization or reactions.  It's actually quite funny to me now because when I was going through tough times previously I would have many conversations with friends for purposes of support, and at times advice.  However, when I finally decided to realize that I had enough I didn't converse with anyone about it.  I made my mind up and kept it moving.  I shared that bit of information as a testament to the fact that everyone will do things in their own time, so just be patient and supportive at all times.  They'll get it....if they want to.


Quote of the Day: "The joy of time is we all get to live each moment however we choose to.  Don't expect someone to live life on your type of time." ~ Candice Loper