Inquiries Don't Constitute Commitment

Good Morning Blogfam!

Creating and building new relationships with quality people can be exciting, and at the same time providing a sense of nervousness.  We've all heard the term that it's important to just "go with the flow" but that doesn't always come easily.  Going with the flow requires a certain level of patience and optimism, especially if you're not completely certain as to what a person's motive or intentions may be.  I always hear different opinions regarding how soon may be too soon to have conversations about what a persons short or long term relationship goals are.  Personally, I don't think there is a specific time frame to have those conversations as it will be relevant at some time or another.  I feel that after meeting someone, the sooner that you get those questions about intentions out the way, the sooner you will know what the initial flow of the relationship will be and where it will lead.

It seems that people avoid the serious conversations in the beginning of a relationship out of fear of scaring a person off.  However, I believe that if a simple conversation with no immediate expectations deters someone from progressing further, than it should be a sign that either they don't know what they want yet or just looking forward to having a good time.  There is nothing at all wrong with that but at least when you ask the questions up front, you are given a fair opportunity to make a clear decision that works for you.  In many of my past relationships I mislead myself into thinking that because a person exhibits a particular behavior that they had the same intentions as I did.  However, I began to realize that a person has no way of knowing what my relationship goals are if I don't tell them.  So basically I went through my past relationships with undisclosed intentions which caused me to go with his flow, and not our flow.  Relationships are about compromise, communication, and comfort ability so it's important to make sure that everyone is on the same page.  When you take the time out to reflect on your past mistakes it allows you to recognize your areas of improvement.  However, it's also important to not be so focused on correcting your past mistakes that you take the excitement out of the situation.  As long as you trust your ability to recognize when someone is genuine and sincere, you won't carry that fear of your feelings being taken advantage of.  

Quote of the Day: "Don't be so focused on the final destination that you forget to enjoy the trip." ~ Candice Loper