Is Being Single That Bad?

Good Morning Blogfam!

Have you ever felt incomplete being single?  I can tell you that I have felt that way before.  When being in a relationship whether it was good or bad it gave me a sense of fulfillment so I had no desire to be a single person.  Of course we all have those moments when we get tired of looking at or being around the person we are with but it's rarely ever constant unless it's just really bad.  However, in the past I have made the decision to leave my partner several times but then the fear of being single always drew me back in.  Of course I blamed it on love and missing him but when I got to the root of it...I just didn't want to be alone so I was willing to be with a person who I know wasn't good for me just for the sake of being with someone.  I told myself I didn't want to be solely responsible for the bills, I need help with the kids, I need sex...blah, blah, blah!!!  That was nothing but excuses to stay in a conditional relationship that provided little benefits and many hindrances.   Eventually I got to a point where I was forced to be single with no clear rebound in sight which gave me time to be by myself (not alone).

During my single period (which I am still in) I was able to learn so much about myself that I never had the chance to learn being with someone.  But wait!  Did I really not have the chance to learn it previously??  Of course I did, it was just another excuse I made to validate why I chose a man over my goals.  I was able to figure out who I was, what I liked, and what I really didn't like.  I was able to focus on things that I let slip through the cracks when being with someone, because of course during that time my primary focus was my man.  I had to dig deep down within Candice and find the peace that would allow me to be happy no matter what and make the next person happy.  I believe that some people have the ability to read a person and sense their weakness or vulnerability.  You have some that stay away from it and you have others that take advantage of it and use it to their advantage.  But I have found if you are peaceful and secure with yourself, no one will be able to pull the wool over your eyes because you'll already know better.

I have had many moments of feeling like I just wasn't capable of being a single mother.  If I felt that way with one child, imagine how I felt once I had three and had to do it alone.  Now don't get me wrong, I do have periodic support but on a day-to-day basis...it's all up to me.  However, I have taken on a different perspective to my situation.  Being a single mother, responsible for three people, working full time, going to school, and living my life has provided me with a sense of fulfillment and purpose that I have never known before.  So I asked myself...is being single that bad?  My answer was NO!  I had to complete myself to realize that I don't need a man to complete me but more so to compliment me. 

Whether you're in a relationship or not, a good thing to do today would be to ask yourself a few questions:

Do I know who I am?
Do I know my purpose?
Am I afraid to be single?
Does my partner compliment me or complete me?

Quote of the Day:  "Don't rely on anyone to be the one just for the sake of being with someone." ~ Candice Loper