You Don't Like? Change It!

Good Morning Blogfam!

It seems that one of the hardest things for some people to do is realize that change is occurring, accept it as such, or initiate it.  I have known many people (myself included) who were in unhealthy relationships but found it extremely difficult to leave.  Consequently what ends up happening is they find themselves semi-functioning in a dysfunctional relationship.  I've been in a situation before where I felt like I didn't have the strength, courage, or will to leave and at that time I couldn't really figure out why.  One thing I know for sure is when you're in a bad situation you will make all kinds of excuses to validate why you make certain decisions.  To name a few: I love him/her, I can't survive on my own, it will get better, etc.  In hindsight, the only real reason I could come up with is that I became mentally unstable due to the instability of the situation overpowering any possibility of my common sense or self-worth.

I say common sense because deciding whether or not to stay in an unhealthy situation should be a no-brainer, right?  Well it's not always that simple because your thought process changes right along with the situation.  Some people are so hopeful for a particular outcome that they will convince themselves that the longer they stay and the more they give will eventually satisfy their expectations.  This is when the mental instability begins because chances are you aren't really seeing the situation for what it is, you're seeing it for what you hope for it to be.

I feel that people give relationships and the people in them more power than they really should have.  If you find that you're arguing more than you're hugging and kissing, you're apart more than you're together, or you just don't have any substance to your conversations than it's probably time to make some changes.  I've known many people who knew a person was unhappy with them but chose to place the ball in their court and say "why won't he/she just leave if they're so unhappy."  Here's my issue with that statement: If you know a person is unhappy with you than CHANGE it for yourself.  Why give a person that much power to hurt you and leave you?  That's like a double whammy especially since at the end of the day you are the one who is left there unhappy and alone.

CandyNote:  If you don't like it....change it. You are in control of your circumstances so don't blame someone else AFTER you've dealt with it for so long...when you could've changed it long before it became TOO long.