Good Morning Blogfam!!
I want to thank my sister (Shirl Green) for providing me with my motivation for my entry today. In relationships we will all experience some level of deception, truth, and gossip as that is the world we live in. There is always that person that feels like they know something and feels like it's their responsibility to inform the next person. Your perspective will determine how you view the information received; you will either see it as gossip or you will see it as fact. I have come to realize that who you're receiving the information from will make a difference as well. You know who has your best interest in mind just as you know who has the potential to be in the business of stirring up trouble. Therefore, it is important to recognize your resources!
Personally, as long as a person has not given me a reason to believe they are a liar, I will trust them. There is no benefit of the doubt with me because if I have doubts at the end of the day when/if the truth does come out to confirm my doubt there is no benefit there, only pain and frustration. Also, many people have a problem deciphering between what's a truth and what's a lie due to denial. Deep down they know that what they're being told is a lie but because they are in denial they choose to believe whatever truths they want to. I have said before that you can't create your own sense of the truth. I mean you can, but in the end it won't benefit you whatsoever. Over the years I have realized that you may not find out the truth immediately but everything comes out eventually, if you're patient enough to wait for it. However, if it is something that is eating at your gut like a parasite, then chances are you already know the truth, you're just waiting for some type of unnecessary confirmation.
The people that fall victim to gossip are typically the people who don't have a mind of their own or the people who have been dishonest themselves. It's almost like a sigh of relief to hear that their partner did something because now they feel like they're off the hook. That right there is a sign of immaturity and unaccountability because you find peace in passing the guilt you're carrying from your misconceptions on to the next person through their potential misconceptions.
Quote of the Day: "Trusting the person you're with can lighten the load of trusting the person you're not with. If you can't trust who you're with, then you probably shouldn't be with them." ~ Candice Loper
I am so glad I could help and I agree with you 100% What we fell to realize is that we are not perfect and neither is the next person. We want to be treated with the utmost respect and we forget that people do make mistakes. I am a very forgiving person and I say that I give people the benefit of the doubt because when it comes to me finding out something from someone else and I then bring it to the source, whether or not it is true or false, it will be of their benefit as to my initial response to the question at hand. This is why I say the benefit of the doubt because it is not for my benefit (as my sis states above "when/if the truth does come out to confirm my doubt, there is no benefit in that")that's right sis there is no benefit for us the seeker but it is a benefit for the accuser if there is no truth to it at all. There will almost never be a win/win situation when it comes to lies, truth and gossip. Someone will get hurt somewhere down the line and it all boils down to how well we listen, how much we say and how quick we are to point a finger. Find a happy median between the three and I can't promise you that you will not get hurt but I can ensure that there will be a lot less stress along the way. At the beginning and end of the day, enjoy life cause you only get one, try not to get too hung up on drama and BS because the people who matter won't bring it to you and the people who bring it to you basically don't matter....
ReplyDeleteI agree with your wholeheartedly. Because we are not perfect, that is why people have to be accountable for their actions and reactions. I completely understand your perspective regarding the benefit of the doubt and that makes perfect sense. The case of lies, truth, and gossip is a prime example of why communication and trust are two of the most important attributes of a relationship. I think that it would help if people who are in relationships would look at their union as being on a team. You two are supposed to form an alliance so that when it comes down to any potential issues you don't have to receive information from a possible opponent.
ReplyDeleteKeep your lines of communication open and it will minimize the necessity of communication from the outside.