Good Morning Blogfam!
I haven't always had the ability to recognize my place in someones life but the more I grow, the more I learn. The time period in which you enter into a persons life or they enter into yours can make all of the difference in whether or not your relationship will be successful. Sometimes circumstances have the ability to supersede a persons intentions. Each and every one of our lives takes its own path and on that journey there isn't someone or something there saying don't do that yet you're going to meet so and so. You just have to go with the flow and realize that a time may come when you have to RESPECT your place in someones life. If someone that you know or are interested in is experiencing personal issues or has a lot going on then its best to just give them space to get things in order and not feel like it's an insult to get in where you fit in. It wouldn't be beneficial to try and stake your claim to what you think your prioritization should be in their life, because it's unlikely that you will have the ability to determine the weight of the priorities that existed before you.
To elaborate a bit on the concept of recognizing your place. You could be at a point in your life where you feel that you are ready to settle down and work towards getting to the next level with someone. Well circumstances aren't always perfect and its not guaranteed that you will meet someone that is on the same page with you at the same time. However, there is always the chance that you will meet someone who you may care deeply for and could see yourself on the same page with, but they're just not there yet. So this is where the gifts of patience, understanding, and maturity come into play. You have to be patient enough to wait for the right time to present itself, you have to be understanding enough to allow the time and space that is necessary to rectify existing issues, and you have to be mature enough to determine who is worth receiving your gifts of patience and understanding. You may not be a priority right now but it doesn't mean you're just an option either. Therefore, I encourage anyone who may be experiencing feelings of uncertainty not to get discouraged because it probably has nothing to do with you, it's possibly just bad timing.
Quote of the Day: "You won't always get what you want when you want it, but you will get it eventually if it's meant for you to have it."
Candy Girl
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Life Can Be What You Want
Good Morning Blogfam!
Whether you be young or old, I think you will have those moments in life when you realize that the life you have been living is not the life you should continue living. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because our lives our supposed to take certain paths at certain times for certain reasons but it doesn't mean it has to be indefinite. However, change is inevitable for people who desire it and have the ability to accept it. It's very easy to become accustomed to a particular type of lifestyle and stick with it but it's a hard task to take that lifestyle and find areas that need to be improved and actually take the steps to change it.
Being happy is a wonderful feeling and sometimes you have to create your own sense of happiness based on how you perceive your life to be. I mean if you can't be happy with yourself, how can you expect someone else to be happy with or around you? Sometimes we get stuck into these little boxes where we feel like the happiness we are experiencing is at its highest point. That is until you experience something that helps you realize that there is so much more out there. When you have a lot going on in life, a lot of responsibility, and a lot of commitments it becomes very difficult to create the time necessary to enforce change. However, that's when you have the opportunity to figure out where you can shift your focus to make it possible for other things happen.
CandyNote: Don't feel it necessary to live the life you've been living, feel free to live the life you imagined!
Whether you be young or old, I think you will have those moments in life when you realize that the life you have been living is not the life you should continue living. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because our lives our supposed to take certain paths at certain times for certain reasons but it doesn't mean it has to be indefinite. However, change is inevitable for people who desire it and have the ability to accept it. It's very easy to become accustomed to a particular type of lifestyle and stick with it but it's a hard task to take that lifestyle and find areas that need to be improved and actually take the steps to change it.
Being happy is a wonderful feeling and sometimes you have to create your own sense of happiness based on how you perceive your life to be. I mean if you can't be happy with yourself, how can you expect someone else to be happy with or around you? Sometimes we get stuck into these little boxes where we feel like the happiness we are experiencing is at its highest point. That is until you experience something that helps you realize that there is so much more out there. When you have a lot going on in life, a lot of responsibility, and a lot of commitments it becomes very difficult to create the time necessary to enforce change. However, that's when you have the opportunity to figure out where you can shift your focus to make it possible for other things happen.
CandyNote: Don't feel it necessary to live the life you've been living, feel free to live the life you imagined!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Take YOUR Time!
Good Morning Blogfam!
Are you the type of person to get out of one relationship and get right into another one? I used to be that person when I was younger. I entered into my first serious relationship when I was 14 and I stayed in it until I was 19. When I decided to move on I probably stayed single for less than 30 days before going into another relationship. Although the next relationship was not your traditional relationship, I still was committed to this person in many ways for several years. Eventually this relationship ended when I was about 22 and about three months later I found myself in yet another relationship. This relationship was the toughest of all and it certainly wasn't your traditional relationship; at least not according to my standards. Believe it or not this relationship ended after several years; hence my singlehood today for approximately the last three years.
After being single for quite some time now, I gave myself the chance to see how important it is to reflect on my past situations so I could step outside of it and see it from a different perspective. Typically, it seems that when people leave a bad relationship and go directly into another one, that one eventually turns out to be bad also. This happens because when situations are bad it's very easy to lose yourself. The problem is many people seek solace in other people instead of seeking it within themselves. Contrary to popular beliefs, it is impossible to find yourself through another person. The only thing you will find is yourself being who you think you need to be for that person and not for yourself. The first step to finding yourself is realizing that you are lost in the first place, then you have to reflect to see what went wrong, and finally you have to take the time to make sure you fully understand your reflections.
As you can see having the ability to handle relationships and what comes after it's over is bigger than just being with someone and leaving someone. You have to be able to manage yourself, your emotions, your feelings, and your standards so you can know what you will and won't deal with. Otherwise, you'll find yourself putting up with the same issues over and over again.
Quote of the Day: "Relationships require give and take. If you're given what you don't want, than take your time to get what you want." ~ Candice Loper
Are you the type of person to get out of one relationship and get right into another one? I used to be that person when I was younger. I entered into my first serious relationship when I was 14 and I stayed in it until I was 19. When I decided to move on I probably stayed single for less than 30 days before going into another relationship. Although the next relationship was not your traditional relationship, I still was committed to this person in many ways for several years. Eventually this relationship ended when I was about 22 and about three months later I found myself in yet another relationship. This relationship was the toughest of all and it certainly wasn't your traditional relationship; at least not according to my standards. Believe it or not this relationship ended after several years; hence my singlehood today for approximately the last three years.
After being single for quite some time now, I gave myself the chance to see how important it is to reflect on my past situations so I could step outside of it and see it from a different perspective. Typically, it seems that when people leave a bad relationship and go directly into another one, that one eventually turns out to be bad also. This happens because when situations are bad it's very easy to lose yourself. The problem is many people seek solace in other people instead of seeking it within themselves. Contrary to popular beliefs, it is impossible to find yourself through another person. The only thing you will find is yourself being who you think you need to be for that person and not for yourself. The first step to finding yourself is realizing that you are lost in the first place, then you have to reflect to see what went wrong, and finally you have to take the time to make sure you fully understand your reflections.
As you can see having the ability to handle relationships and what comes after it's over is bigger than just being with someone and leaving someone. You have to be able to manage yourself, your emotions, your feelings, and your standards so you can know what you will and won't deal with. Otherwise, you'll find yourself putting up with the same issues over and over again.
Quote of the Day: "Relationships require give and take. If you're given what you don't want, than take your time to get what you want." ~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Live Up To Your Standards
Good Morning Blogfam!
I was thinking about some things this morning and something crossed my mind. I was thinking about standards and how people determine or prioritize what is important to them when it comes to searching for a potential mate. I have known people who looked for certain attributes and qualities in other people that they didn't even possess themselves. I won't even pretend that one of those people hasn't been me at one point or another. The difference is, I recognized it and now my perspective is different.
When you get to a point where you know what you want; whether it be from yourself or someone else, it makes it more difficult to settle for less. I believe that some people get so caught up in what they desire from another person that they stop focusing on what will be desired of themselves. It's like wanting someone who has good credit, a nice home, no children, and a lucrative income. However, when you look at your situation your credit sucks, you live in an apartment, you have four kids, and you work part time. Now what kind of sense does that make? It's almost like having champagne taste with tap water money. Don't get me wrong; i'm not saying that you can't want someone who is in a better position than you, i'm just saying it shouldn't be a "deal breaker" if you find someone who is on the same level as you.
If you know your standards are greater than what you have to offer, than it wouldn't hurt to work hard to bring yourself up to YOUR own standards.
Quote of the Day: "Don't expect something of someone that you're not willing to give to yourself." ~ Candice Loper
I was thinking about some things this morning and something crossed my mind. I was thinking about standards and how people determine or prioritize what is important to them when it comes to searching for a potential mate. I have known people who looked for certain attributes and qualities in other people that they didn't even possess themselves. I won't even pretend that one of those people hasn't been me at one point or another. The difference is, I recognized it and now my perspective is different.
When you get to a point where you know what you want; whether it be from yourself or someone else, it makes it more difficult to settle for less. I believe that some people get so caught up in what they desire from another person that they stop focusing on what will be desired of themselves. It's like wanting someone who has good credit, a nice home, no children, and a lucrative income. However, when you look at your situation your credit sucks, you live in an apartment, you have four kids, and you work part time. Now what kind of sense does that make? It's almost like having champagne taste with tap water money. Don't get me wrong; i'm not saying that you can't want someone who is in a better position than you, i'm just saying it shouldn't be a "deal breaker" if you find someone who is on the same level as you.
If you know your standards are greater than what you have to offer, than it wouldn't hurt to work hard to bring yourself up to YOUR own standards.
Quote of the Day: "Don't expect something of someone that you're not willing to give to yourself." ~ Candice Loper
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Don't Rush Life
Good Morning Blogfam!
There are many young people who are ahead of their time. Sometimes it is forced upon them by parents or society and sometimes it's just a personal choice. Typically when a child is exposed to certain situations that only an adult can truly handle, it causes them to force themselves to handle it. Granted, this scenario isn't all bad because they are gaining valuable insight on how to adapt and survive, but is it really valuable when they're really not ready to deal with it?
I was a young lady who was way ahead of my time. I mean there was nothing that anyone could tell me, I knew it all! When I entered high school at the age of 14, I was already grown so sports, sleepovers with friends, hanging out after school; all of those things were childish to me. I preferred to have a boyfriend (who eventually came to live with me), work two jobs at 16, get pregnant at 17, go to prom pregnant, and be a mother at the age of 18. Oh yeah, that was much more fun than hanging out with friends and going to college. Of course while I was living it I didn't see it that way. Then by the time I was 19, my relationship ended (SHOCKER!!!), i'm a single mother, going to school, working a full-time job, and maintaining my own household. Now it's time for me to party like a rockstar, right? But there is just one problem. I already missed that part of my life when I thought being an adult was more appealing than being a teenager. At that point there were no other options. I wanted it so I got it, there was no turning back.
Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no do-overs in life. There are certain decisions you can make that will affect the path of the rest of your life. When you decide that you want to be an adult when you're supposed to be an adolescent, you have to understand that when the real time comes for you to be an adult, you will never be an adolescent again. It's something to think about because I never did when I was young.
Quote of the Day: "Growing up too fast is just another way of rushing your way through life. We'll be adults way longer than we'll be children; enjoy your youth!" ~ Candice Loper
There are many young people who are ahead of their time. Sometimes it is forced upon them by parents or society and sometimes it's just a personal choice. Typically when a child is exposed to certain situations that only an adult can truly handle, it causes them to force themselves to handle it. Granted, this scenario isn't all bad because they are gaining valuable insight on how to adapt and survive, but is it really valuable when they're really not ready to deal with it?
I was a young lady who was way ahead of my time. I mean there was nothing that anyone could tell me, I knew it all! When I entered high school at the age of 14, I was already grown so sports, sleepovers with friends, hanging out after school; all of those things were childish to me. I preferred to have a boyfriend (who eventually came to live with me), work two jobs at 16, get pregnant at 17, go to prom pregnant, and be a mother at the age of 18. Oh yeah, that was much more fun than hanging out with friends and going to college. Of course while I was living it I didn't see it that way. Then by the time I was 19, my relationship ended (SHOCKER!!!), i'm a single mother, going to school, working a full-time job, and maintaining my own household. Now it's time for me to party like a rockstar, right? But there is just one problem. I already missed that part of my life when I thought being an adult was more appealing than being a teenager. At that point there were no other options. I wanted it so I got it, there was no turning back.
Contrary to popular beliefs, there are no do-overs in life. There are certain decisions you can make that will affect the path of the rest of your life. When you decide that you want to be an adult when you're supposed to be an adolescent, you have to understand that when the real time comes for you to be an adult, you will never be an adolescent again. It's something to think about because I never did when I was young.
Quote of the Day: "Growing up too fast is just another way of rushing your way through life. We'll be adults way longer than we'll be children; enjoy your youth!" ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Balance is Key
Good Morning Blogfam!
I believe that in order to be truly happy you have to have a proper balance in certain areas of your life. I've noticed that the people who spend too much time doing a particular activity or devote too much time to certain people, are normally the ones who seem unhappy beneath the surface. Sometimes while a person is spending too much time doing one thing, they aren't doing another thing that may be of interest to them; this is where balance comes into the equation.
I am sure many of us have been in relationships where we just wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with our partner. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this but I have known many people (including myself) who eventually got to a point of making my man my priority and completely forgetting about the things that once made me happy outside of him. So it took me a while to realize that when you get a person accustomed to a certain type of behavior, that is what they will expect from you going forward. So if you spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with a person, when the time comes for you to separate from them they won't really be able to understand it. Consequently, depending on the person you are with your relationship may even experience trust issues. Eventually, you realize that you have let all your friends go, your dreams are slipping, and before you know it your self-identity has left right along with everything else.
This is why it is especially important to maintain a proper balance between togetherness and separateness. While in a relationship, it's healthy to have common goals, dreams, and visions. However, it's equally important to evolve individually because personal growth is an essential part of life. If for so long your primary goal has always been growing together, would you know what to do if you ever grew apart?
Quote of the Day: "The scales of life start out empty so it's up to you to place the weights in the proper dishes to create the proper balance." ~ Candice Loper
I believe that in order to be truly happy you have to have a proper balance in certain areas of your life. I've noticed that the people who spend too much time doing a particular activity or devote too much time to certain people, are normally the ones who seem unhappy beneath the surface. Sometimes while a person is spending too much time doing one thing, they aren't doing another thing that may be of interest to them; this is where balance comes into the equation.
I am sure many of us have been in relationships where we just wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with our partner. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this but I have known many people (including myself) who eventually got to a point of making my man my priority and completely forgetting about the things that once made me happy outside of him. So it took me a while to realize that when you get a person accustomed to a certain type of behavior, that is what they will expect from you going forward. So if you spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with a person, when the time comes for you to separate from them they won't really be able to understand it. Consequently, depending on the person you are with your relationship may even experience trust issues. Eventually, you realize that you have let all your friends go, your dreams are slipping, and before you know it your self-identity has left right along with everything else.
This is why it is especially important to maintain a proper balance between togetherness and separateness. While in a relationship, it's healthy to have common goals, dreams, and visions. However, it's equally important to evolve individually because personal growth is an essential part of life. If for so long your primary goal has always been growing together, would you know what to do if you ever grew apart?
Quote of the Day: "The scales of life start out empty so it's up to you to place the weights in the proper dishes to create the proper balance." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, May 16, 2011
Time is Precious
Good Morning Blogfam!
Time is our most precious asset because there are endless possibilities with what you can do with it. Which is why you should maximize it and make the best of each moment. It's especially important to associate yourself with people who share the same respect for time as you do. I feel that time and money are one in the same. Money comes and money goes just as time comes and time goes. The only difference is you can't get time back once it's lost or wasted.
I have definitely wasted my share of time which I can never get back. But I feel like I recovered a little bit of it through the lessons I have learned from that "wasted" time. The biggest lesson I learned through everything is not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. In the past there have been times when someone showed me who they were very early on in the relationship but I held on to the thought of who I wanted them to be, which in turn caused me to stay in a situation that I knew wouldn't be beneficial in the long run. As a result, I pay extra close attention to behavior that is displayed in the beginning because it's a direct indication of what's to be expected in the future.
When you've experienced enough turmoil due to situations that could have been avoided, it gives you a newfound respect for time and what you choose to do with it. You begin to cherish the positive and despise the negative things in life. Granted, perfection does not exist so every moment in life won't be a joyous one. But sometimes we go through situations that we can control but mentally we feel powerless so before we realize that it's bad typically a lot of time has passed.
Quote of the Day: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." ~ Maya Angelou
Time is our most precious asset because there are endless possibilities with what you can do with it. Which is why you should maximize it and make the best of each moment. It's especially important to associate yourself with people who share the same respect for time as you do. I feel that time and money are one in the same. Money comes and money goes just as time comes and time goes. The only difference is you can't get time back once it's lost or wasted.
I have definitely wasted my share of time which I can never get back. But I feel like I recovered a little bit of it through the lessons I have learned from that "wasted" time. The biggest lesson I learned through everything is not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. In the past there have been times when someone showed me who they were very early on in the relationship but I held on to the thought of who I wanted them to be, which in turn caused me to stay in a situation that I knew wouldn't be beneficial in the long run. As a result, I pay extra close attention to behavior that is displayed in the beginning because it's a direct indication of what's to be expected in the future.
When you've experienced enough turmoil due to situations that could have been avoided, it gives you a newfound respect for time and what you choose to do with it. You begin to cherish the positive and despise the negative things in life. Granted, perfection does not exist so every moment in life won't be a joyous one. But sometimes we go through situations that we can control but mentally we feel powerless so before we realize that it's bad typically a lot of time has passed.
Quote of the Day: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." ~ Maya Angelou
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Love or Pride? Your Choice....
Good Morning Blogfam!
Have you ever wondered why relationships that go bad can't be made whole again? I think about this often because I have been in several relationships that have went bad and I couldn't seem to understand why it couldn't be restored. I feel that these type of questions or contemplations are necessary in order to know what mistakes shouldn't be made the next time around.
When one person has left the relationship, whether it be emotional, physical, or mental; it makes it much more difficult for the other person who hasn't left to get back in. I've noticed from past experience that there is little hope left when a person has gotten to the point where they stop doing things to make you feel special, they stop spending time with you, and they stop caring about your feelings. If someone feels that you're a very important part of their existence, even if they do escape the relationship temporarily, the love that they feel for you will supersede any thoughts of leaving.
This is why I believe it's very important to understand the person you are with because it will serve you best to familiarize yourself with their level of pride, arrogance, or egotism. Depending on the person, even if they feel like they want to show you that they really do love you, if they've showed you for so long that they don't; than their pride, arrogance, and ego will prevent them from showing it. In their mind, they are so concerned about how they might look to others that they won't submit. Therefore, as a result they would much rather prefer to let something that might have the potential to be good again go for the sake of their pride. This is the person that will have regrets when it's all said and done because they won't realize what they had until it's gone. Then by the time they decide that they are ready to put their pride to the side, the other person will probably have gotten over it and moved on to someone of a less self-absorbed nature.
Quote of the Day: "Love can be a battle sometimes but if you're fighting against pride and egotism you can't possibly have the artillery and ammunition necessary to prevail." ~ Candice Loper
Have you ever wondered why relationships that go bad can't be made whole again? I think about this often because I have been in several relationships that have went bad and I couldn't seem to understand why it couldn't be restored. I feel that these type of questions or contemplations are necessary in order to know what mistakes shouldn't be made the next time around.
When one person has left the relationship, whether it be emotional, physical, or mental; it makes it much more difficult for the other person who hasn't left to get back in. I've noticed from past experience that there is little hope left when a person has gotten to the point where they stop doing things to make you feel special, they stop spending time with you, and they stop caring about your feelings. If someone feels that you're a very important part of their existence, even if they do escape the relationship temporarily, the love that they feel for you will supersede any thoughts of leaving.
This is why I believe it's very important to understand the person you are with because it will serve you best to familiarize yourself with their level of pride, arrogance, or egotism. Depending on the person, even if they feel like they want to show you that they really do love you, if they've showed you for so long that they don't; than their pride, arrogance, and ego will prevent them from showing it. In their mind, they are so concerned about how they might look to others that they won't submit. Therefore, as a result they would much rather prefer to let something that might have the potential to be good again go for the sake of their pride. This is the person that will have regrets when it's all said and done because they won't realize what they had until it's gone. Then by the time they decide that they are ready to put their pride to the side, the other person will probably have gotten over it and moved on to someone of a less self-absorbed nature.
Quote of the Day: "Love can be a battle sometimes but if you're fighting against pride and egotism you can't possibly have the artillery and ammunition necessary to prevail." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Everyone Serves a Purpose
Good Morning Blogfam!!
Have you ever questioned the validity of a relationship you have with someone? I am sure there are those times when you feel like you wasted massive amounts of time with someone or you simply just don't understand the purpose of certain people in your life. Well I have come to realize that there is always a reason why someone is in your life, even if it's not initially clear in real time.
I have had many people come in and out of my life over the years. Sometimes the reason someone is in your life may not be relevant or specific to you, but they could have very well been placed in your life as a sole benefit to them. I have been involved in several relationships and friendships where at the end of it, I felt like I gained absolutely nothing and wasted unnecessary time. However, eventually I got to a point where I understood that I wasn't wasting time; I was gaining valuable experience in dealing with various type of people, including their thoughts, behaviors, and motives.
At one point in my life, I found myself in a situation where I felt like a person came into my life just to cause me pain and try to ruin who I knew myself to be. When I had my fall, I blamed everybody but myself. However, looking at the situation in hindsight; as weird as it sounds, I am able to be appreciative for that experience because had I not experienced it I wouldn't have had the opportunity to evolve into the woman that I am today. Sometimes when people come in your life and tear you down, they could be placed there to be your wrecking ball to prepare you for the re-build process. It's all about your perspective and ability to appreciate each experience individually.
Quote of the Day: "If life always gave you who or what you wanted, you wouldn't have a clue what to do if you received who or what you didn't want." ~ Candice Loper
Have you ever questioned the validity of a relationship you have with someone? I am sure there are those times when you feel like you wasted massive amounts of time with someone or you simply just don't understand the purpose of certain people in your life. Well I have come to realize that there is always a reason why someone is in your life, even if it's not initially clear in real time.
I have had many people come in and out of my life over the years. Sometimes the reason someone is in your life may not be relevant or specific to you, but they could have very well been placed in your life as a sole benefit to them. I have been involved in several relationships and friendships where at the end of it, I felt like I gained absolutely nothing and wasted unnecessary time. However, eventually I got to a point where I understood that I wasn't wasting time; I was gaining valuable experience in dealing with various type of people, including their thoughts, behaviors, and motives.
At one point in my life, I found myself in a situation where I felt like a person came into my life just to cause me pain and try to ruin who I knew myself to be. When I had my fall, I blamed everybody but myself. However, looking at the situation in hindsight; as weird as it sounds, I am able to be appreciative for that experience because had I not experienced it I wouldn't have had the opportunity to evolve into the woman that I am today. Sometimes when people come in your life and tear you down, they could be placed there to be your wrecking ball to prepare you for the re-build process. It's all about your perspective and ability to appreciate each experience individually.
Quote of the Day: "If life always gave you who or what you wanted, you wouldn't have a clue what to do if you received who or what you didn't want." ~ Candice Loper
Friday, May 6, 2011
Motherly Love
Happy Friday Blogfam!
Strictly for the MOTHERS!!!
I'm sure we've all found reasons to criticize or judge how other women raise their children, especially if it is different than how we raise ours or how we've been raised. I've been there and done that myself but what I came to realize is that there is no manual on raising children so what may be right to one may not be right to another. We're all learning each and every day.
Being a mother is the hardest job i've ever had but at the same time it's been the most rewarding. It's almost like a regular job, if you want to get paid good money you have to put in the hard work and earn it. Being a mother has required me to be strong when I felt like I wanted to be weak. I learned from my mother a long time ago that even when times are tough, your kids should never know it. When you raise them properly, they will recognize when things are different and they will respect the struggle without you having to tell them to. That's why when I made the decision to have children, I also made a decision that I was willing to give up a substantial amount of the "me" time I had been so used to for the "we" time that would provide me with a level of happiness I had never known.
I'm not saying that being a mother is always sheer enjoyment because it's not. There are those times when your kids will pluck your last nerve, when they do things to scare the hell out of you, when they go down the wrong path, and when they don't get the lessons that you try to teach to them. But one thing you can be sure of is when you show your children you care, they will shower you with a love that no one else could ever give you.
Quote of the Day: "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!"
Strictly for the MOTHERS!!!
I'm sure we've all found reasons to criticize or judge how other women raise their children, especially if it is different than how we raise ours or how we've been raised. I've been there and done that myself but what I came to realize is that there is no manual on raising children so what may be right to one may not be right to another. We're all learning each and every day.
Being a mother is the hardest job i've ever had but at the same time it's been the most rewarding. It's almost like a regular job, if you want to get paid good money you have to put in the hard work and earn it. Being a mother has required me to be strong when I felt like I wanted to be weak. I learned from my mother a long time ago that even when times are tough, your kids should never know it. When you raise them properly, they will recognize when things are different and they will respect the struggle without you having to tell them to. That's why when I made the decision to have children, I also made a decision that I was willing to give up a substantial amount of the "me" time I had been so used to for the "we" time that would provide me with a level of happiness I had never known.
I'm not saying that being a mother is always sheer enjoyment because it's not. There are those times when your kids will pluck your last nerve, when they do things to scare the hell out of you, when they go down the wrong path, and when they don't get the lessons that you try to teach to them. But one thing you can be sure of is when you show your children you care, they will shower you with a love that no one else could ever give you.
Quote of the Day: "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!"
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Temporary Solutions won't provide Permanent Resolutions
Good Morning Blogfam!
Giving up something or someone that you've been accustomed to for a long time can be very difficult. No matter how good or bad for you it may be, the hardest thing to get used to is not having it as a part of your life anymore. It is human nature to become comfortable in situations no matter what the circumstances are. You may know someone who is being abused and might not be able to understand why they can't just leave the situation. Although they are in a horrible situation they have become accustomed to the behavior which has taken a mental toll on them, so it's not easy to just walk away from it.
I told a friend recently that when we give up habits, it's natural to try and replace or substitute the emotions and/or physical comfort with something else. One thing that I have found to be severely pertinent is NOT to use something temporary as a permanent replacement. What i'm trying to say is, say for instance your relationship ends and you are having a hard time getting over it. As unrealistic as it sounds, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find peace and resolution within and reflect on the situation. When one of my previous relationships ended, I was forced to be by myself so I found healing in partying. Well here is the problem; once I got tired of partying, although it was several months after the breakup, I was now forced to deal with it. So initially I used a temporary solution of partying as a permanent resolution to my pain.
Along this journey of life it is not going to be easy but many of the experiences, whether they be good or bad will certainly be worth it. There have been many situations that I have been faced with when happening in real time was looked upon as such a major roadblock. However, once I waited for the smoke to clear, got past it, and was able to see difference it made in my life; it motivated me to refrain from trying to substitute pain and deal with it so I could remove it completely.
Quote of the Day: "Pain is temporary but being afraid to deal with it has the potential to cause it to be permanent." ~ Candice Loper
Giving up something or someone that you've been accustomed to for a long time can be very difficult. No matter how good or bad for you it may be, the hardest thing to get used to is not having it as a part of your life anymore. It is human nature to become comfortable in situations no matter what the circumstances are. You may know someone who is being abused and might not be able to understand why they can't just leave the situation. Although they are in a horrible situation they have become accustomed to the behavior which has taken a mental toll on them, so it's not easy to just walk away from it.
I told a friend recently that when we give up habits, it's natural to try and replace or substitute the emotions and/or physical comfort with something else. One thing that I have found to be severely pertinent is NOT to use something temporary as a permanent replacement. What i'm trying to say is, say for instance your relationship ends and you are having a hard time getting over it. As unrealistic as it sounds, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find peace and resolution within and reflect on the situation. When one of my previous relationships ended, I was forced to be by myself so I found healing in partying. Well here is the problem; once I got tired of partying, although it was several months after the breakup, I was now forced to deal with it. So initially I used a temporary solution of partying as a permanent resolution to my pain.
Along this journey of life it is not going to be easy but many of the experiences, whether they be good or bad will certainly be worth it. There have been many situations that I have been faced with when happening in real time was looked upon as such a major roadblock. However, once I waited for the smoke to clear, got past it, and was able to see difference it made in my life; it motivated me to refrain from trying to substitute pain and deal with it so I could remove it completely.
Quote of the Day: "Pain is temporary but being afraid to deal with it has the potential to cause it to be permanent." ~ Candice Loper
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Perspective Determines Your Perception of Pride
Good Morning Blogfam!
Myself and a friend were having a very deep conversation and came across a topic that we shared different views on. We began talking about PRIDE! What exactly is pride and can being too sensitive towards it hinder your opportunities, stability, or peace of mind? Pride is defined as "a sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect". The thing about pride is we all have it but how we feel towards it can vary from person to person. Even the most confident of people have moments where they question parts of their being so it's not a matter of strength or weakness; it's a matter of comfort in oneself.
The typical situation where people feel like their pride is in jeopardy is when they have to ask someone for something. This is where it becomes situational and sensitive depending on the individual involved. Typically, the person who has issues regarding their pride is the person who feels like they can do everything on their own and they don't need anyone for anything. So when a situation presents itself where support or assistance is required, they let their pride keep them from asking for help. Personally, it takes a lot for me to feel as if my pride is threatened because I am very comfortable with myself and my independence. So when I have to ask for help, I know it's because I need it and that doesn't affect my pride whatsoever. I'll tell you what it does; it makes me feel proud that I have the courage to ask. This is why I believe that your perspective determines your perception regarding pride.
Quote of the Day: "When others recognize your efforts, your pride should never be tested because if they help you out it's because they have respect for YOU." ~ Candice Loper
Myself and a friend were having a very deep conversation and came across a topic that we shared different views on. We began talking about PRIDE! What exactly is pride and can being too sensitive towards it hinder your opportunities, stability, or peace of mind? Pride is defined as "a sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect". The thing about pride is we all have it but how we feel towards it can vary from person to person. Even the most confident of people have moments where they question parts of their being so it's not a matter of strength or weakness; it's a matter of comfort in oneself.
The typical situation where people feel like their pride is in jeopardy is when they have to ask someone for something. This is where it becomes situational and sensitive depending on the individual involved. Typically, the person who has issues regarding their pride is the person who feels like they can do everything on their own and they don't need anyone for anything. So when a situation presents itself where support or assistance is required, they let their pride keep them from asking for help. Personally, it takes a lot for me to feel as if my pride is threatened because I am very comfortable with myself and my independence. So when I have to ask for help, I know it's because I need it and that doesn't affect my pride whatsoever. I'll tell you what it does; it makes me feel proud that I have the courage to ask. This is why I believe that your perspective determines your perception regarding pride.
Quote of the Day: "When others recognize your efforts, your pride should never be tested because if they help you out it's because they have respect for YOU." ~ Candice Loper
Monday, April 11, 2011
Realize Your Impact
Good Morning Blogfam!
Speaking, talking, informing, advising, suggesting, and numerous other words describe the many types of conversations that we have. What I have come to realize is that some people don't realize the effects of their words and how they are perceived by others. There are some people who will hear everything you say and they will take it with them wherever they go, than you have others who hear nothing at all. It's important to understand your audience and how they perceive information as an individual.
I used to be that type of person that would always respond affirmatively mainly because I didn't have the courage to say what was really on my mind. However, I realized that telling someone what they want to hear is an indirect form of misleading them. Because ultimately they would actually look forward to everything I was telling them, although I knew the whole time that it wouldn't happen. It's just easier to say what you mean and mean what you say up front, regardless of what a person wants to hear. Clearly, it would be best to be tactful in your response as i'm sure no one wants to hurt someone's feelings intentionally. This is important when trying to maintain fruitful relationships.
Words can help just as words can hurt, which is why it's important to utilize them properly. I have had relationships with people who enjoyed saying hurtful things, but when I looked at the situation in hindsight and was able to evaluate and analyze their life path, I realized their infliction of pain unto others was because that was an outlet due to their own personal pain. If you know someone like this, the best bit of advice I could give is don't give them satisfaction of seeing you hurt. If you can't get through to them, don't be afraid to let them go because at least you get to hold on to your dignity and self-respect while they're busy harassing the next person.
Quote of the Day: "Everything you say has the possibility of remembrance." ~ Candice Loper
Speaking, talking, informing, advising, suggesting, and numerous other words describe the many types of conversations that we have. What I have come to realize is that some people don't realize the effects of their words and how they are perceived by others. There are some people who will hear everything you say and they will take it with them wherever they go, than you have others who hear nothing at all. It's important to understand your audience and how they perceive information as an individual.
I used to be that type of person that would always respond affirmatively mainly because I didn't have the courage to say what was really on my mind. However, I realized that telling someone what they want to hear is an indirect form of misleading them. Because ultimately they would actually look forward to everything I was telling them, although I knew the whole time that it wouldn't happen. It's just easier to say what you mean and mean what you say up front, regardless of what a person wants to hear. Clearly, it would be best to be tactful in your response as i'm sure no one wants to hurt someone's feelings intentionally. This is important when trying to maintain fruitful relationships.
Words can help just as words can hurt, which is why it's important to utilize them properly. I have had relationships with people who enjoyed saying hurtful things, but when I looked at the situation in hindsight and was able to evaluate and analyze their life path, I realized their infliction of pain unto others was because that was an outlet due to their own personal pain. If you know someone like this, the best bit of advice I could give is don't give them satisfaction of seeing you hurt. If you can't get through to them, don't be afraid to let them go because at least you get to hold on to your dignity and self-respect while they're busy harassing the next person.
Quote of the Day: "Everything you say has the possibility of remembrance." ~ Candice Loper
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
True Passion Provides Eventually
Good Afternoon Blogfam,
I find it extremely important to recognize that it takes patience, determination, and sheer passion to perfect a craft. Even if it is something that you are interested in, it doesn't mean that you will be great at it or know how to make it work for you. I just heard today that it takes 10,000 hours to become good at something, which is a little more than a year. However, who really has a year straight to work on something when you're trying to live life simultaneously. So I pondered on that for a second and it made perfect sense. I know many people who began working on their craft at an early age and it took majority of their lives to finally see the fruits of their labor. Why? Because they never gave up and always made time for it!
For example, I have a cousin who has always been talented in many forms of Art; from writing and speaking poetry, rapping, singing, to dancing. She always had the determination and sheer passion, but not always the patience to develop a plan to make it work for her. So now after a lifetime of having the passion she has finally realized how to perfect her craft and make it work for her. Of course most people in the entertainment industry want to get major paid and be a world renowned figure but sometimes you have to find solace in something on a smaller scale and be confident that it will grow into something large. That's what she's done and now her name rings bells which means she's well on her way.
I used to be that person that wanted instant gratification from anything that I "thought" I was interested in. Before actually thinking about the craft or skill, I would think about the financial aspect of it like "What can I do that will make me a whole lot of money?" However, eventually I came to realize that I was horrible at everything I thought of and had no genuine interest in it whatsoever. Now I find peace and solace in writing on my blog and motivating others; it doesn't provide a financial benefit YET but at least i'm doing something I love and it does have the potential to satisfy me financially.
Quote of the Day: "When your passion is your primary focus, all the superficial desires become secondary." ~ Candice Loper
I find it extremely important to recognize that it takes patience, determination, and sheer passion to perfect a craft. Even if it is something that you are interested in, it doesn't mean that you will be great at it or know how to make it work for you. I just heard today that it takes 10,000 hours to become good at something, which is a little more than a year. However, who really has a year straight to work on something when you're trying to live life simultaneously. So I pondered on that for a second and it made perfect sense. I know many people who began working on their craft at an early age and it took majority of their lives to finally see the fruits of their labor. Why? Because they never gave up and always made time for it!
For example, I have a cousin who has always been talented in many forms of Art; from writing and speaking poetry, rapping, singing, to dancing. She always had the determination and sheer passion, but not always the patience to develop a plan to make it work for her. So now after a lifetime of having the passion she has finally realized how to perfect her craft and make it work for her. Of course most people in the entertainment industry want to get major paid and be a world renowned figure but sometimes you have to find solace in something on a smaller scale and be confident that it will grow into something large. That's what she's done and now her name rings bells which means she's well on her way.
I used to be that person that wanted instant gratification from anything that I "thought" I was interested in. Before actually thinking about the craft or skill, I would think about the financial aspect of it like "What can I do that will make me a whole lot of money?" However, eventually I came to realize that I was horrible at everything I thought of and had no genuine interest in it whatsoever. Now I find peace and solace in writing on my blog and motivating others; it doesn't provide a financial benefit YET but at least i'm doing something I love and it does have the potential to satisfy me financially.
Quote of the Day: "When your passion is your primary focus, all the superficial desires become secondary." ~ Candice Loper
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Life is a Journey!
Good Morning Blogfam!
For those who are blessed, life will be the longest experience in your entire life and for those who are even more blessed; it will be a long and FULFILLING experience. In order to fully appreciate your path you have to live beyond the moments and situations and appreciate what lies ahead in the future. There are many people who question themselves, God, and others when things don’t happen in the time frame they had hoped for. See that’s when selfishness and impatience takes over the steering wheel in the car of destiny. Just because things don’t happen when you want them to doesn’t mean it’s not in the plan for it to happen, it’s just going to happen when God feels like you’re ready to receive it and appreciate it. Many experiences that we encounter in life are blessings in disguise, therefore if you’re not able to see beyond the disguise and recognize how blessed you are to be walking in your skin; it means you’re not quite ready for it yet. Therefore, if you constantly find yourself not getting what you want out of life, you may very well need to change your perspective and start appreciating what you do have so you can make room for what you don’t have or aren’t receiving. You have to be ready and able to handle the abundance!! I f you can’t fully appreciate the small things that you may not see as a blessing, how in the world are you going to be able to handle the big things?
This is why it’s very important for everyone to realize that life is a JOURNEY, it is not a trip! I will say that again…life is a JOURNEY, it is not a trip! When you’re on a journey there is no end in sight, as far as you’re concerned you could continue on until your time has run out. Journeys are exciting, fulfilling, educational, experimental, and even emotional. When you recognize that your life is a journey that’s when you’re able to appreciate your hardships, shortcomings, areas of opportunity, and improve them to enhance your experience at the next destination. Please note that I used the term DESTINATION! Along your very long journey, you will go from destination to destination never to return home for good but just to make a pit stop until it’s time to go to the next destination. Now don’t get me wrong, your journey will not simply consist of tropical getaways and treks through the rainforest…part of your journey includes most of the things that you do right at home…it’s all about what you take from every experience you are faced with. There will be times when the person that you are today may not be who you want to be or are supposed to be, therefore, that journey from oneself today to oneself in the future is just one example of a foreseeable destination within your journey. The destination to SELF!! For those with a different perspective and look at life as a trip, they will always be looking and waiting for the end of every situation or experience they encounter. They won’t have the ability to practice patience and foresee the long term benefit of what they are experiencing in their present, whether it is good or bad. If you take notice, trips tend to be short getaways that help you to escape reality but one thing for sure….you will always have to come right back and face everything you’re temporarily getting away from. Once you have the ability to incorporate your present reality into your dreams, imagination, passions, and desires that is a direct sign that your perspective is changing and you’re finally starting to leave the small trips to the escapees and you’re ready to join “Team Journey” because they don’t run from it…they run WITH it! Why is it that I say you’re ready now? Because now you are able to appreciate the fact that the end is not near and if you’re lucky you won’t ever see an end…you will just see constant new beginnings.
Quote of the Day: "If you're always looking forward to the end, you don't deserve any new beginnings!" ~ Candice Loper
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