Relationships Can Produce Happiness...If You Want It

Hey Hey Blogfam!!


I was having a conversation last night about why people stay in relationships with people that they know aren't the ones for them.  I had to ponder on that for a second before responding because I have been in that position myself too many times.  I came to the conclusion that we stay in relationships with unlikely people for a variety of reasons, that may not hold the most validity.


Firstly, I believe that conditional relationships tend to possess longevity because it's human nature to get used to certain things and not be able to let go of them.  I am sure we have all had moments of being with someone for a specific reason that may be advantageous to us.  However, what ends up happening is you get the opportunity to take advantage of your benefits but in the process you are not completely fulfilled.  Then before you know it, you have wasted potentially valuable time when you knew initially that you didn't see a fulfilling future with that person.


Secondly, I believe that single people of  certain demographic get impatient being alone so they settle for the first person that comes their way that even seems remotely interested in them.  I notice this most often in women who are 35 and up.  That tends to be the age when women perceive being alone as being lonely.  There is a major difference between the two.  When you are alone it just means that you are by yourself and that doesn't always have to be a bad thing.  However, when you perceive yourself as being lonely you feel like your aloneness is a form of emptiness, which is the reason for filling the void with just about anything.  Personally, I use my alone time as a time of reflection and self-actualization.  Being alone is not such a bad thing, especially when you end up being with anyone just for the sake of being with someone and you still end up feeling a major sense of emptiness.


Lastly, I believe that people initially compromise the things they KNOW they want for things they THINK they can settle for.  This is a major mistake that leads to the end of many relationships.  There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want within reason and going after it.  However, if you're willing to compromise your potential for complete happiness just for the sake of being with someone, that is when you end up stuck in a situation that is not pleasing to you.  I've said before that the most important person that you have to be honest with is YOU.  No one else is responsible for telling you what it would take for you to be happy but you are responsible for knowing what you desire that will ultimately equate to happiness.


Quote of the Day: "The first sight of trouble normally happens at first sight.  So don't ignore your intuitions unless you're willing to ignore your happiness." ~ Candice Loper